Rock and roll

Yes succeeding in academia doesn't mean everything.

People who drop out from school might be more successful than those who get straight As in school. 

But this can't be an excuse for you to not acquire more knowledge and to stop studying and say screw education.

Studying for knowledge and studying for examinations. There's truly a difference between them. We used to study to get good grades and we thought we understand after getting good grades. 

But that isn't true. Understanding knowledge thoroughly doesn't guarantee us to score well in exam. 

You might think that studying is so bored and that's what a nerd do. We, creative people don't study, we play hard. That's what make us creative and talented and different from nerds. If so, you are way too wrong. 

Knowledge is power. This sentence never dies. If you have zero knowledge and hundred percent creativity, there's still limitation in you. Because there's so much you don't know. There's always a reason why knowledge and education being emphasized through these years or centuries. 

Of coz with knowledge doesn't mean u need to get a certificate or sth, it's just mean that you acquire something willingly. And you accept the education not because of examination purpose. 

I used to think that studying for whole day long is seriously something that I don't want. Now, I still keep that thought but with something different. There's always different ways of learning and there's always a talent on everyone.

I believe so. What I hope is To play hard, and learn smart. Assignments and examinations are processes that I need to go through and I am trying hard to not study for exams. And I am trying to study because I want to know it and practice it. 

There's just no excuse for me to say screw education. I will only say screw examination and formatting. And I might be weird, the way I think might be different or might be dumb or pointless to people. Yet, I will to retain this kind of stupidity. This is what make me unique. 

Hell ya, rocks!

团。

才知道团队的意义。
从刚开始的不愿意到今天的感受。
其实，要学的是接受。
一种米养百种人。只要你明白，每个人都有优点和缺点。
但，重点是，你会放大哪一个来看？
如果，你觉得这个人软弱，不是领袖的材料，那他在你眼中永远不会有任何贡献可言。
但换个角度想，他的软弱也许可在另一方面带来好处。上天是公平的。没有一个人是完美的。所以不会有完美的领袖。反而，团队就是要互相帮忙，那才有意义。
虽然还会有那种，这个人不可靠的感觉；但更重要的是，别不断地批判别人，每个人都有好与坏，我们真的有资格成为审判官吗？这，是要不断提醒自己的。我也会忘了，不小心就批评一大堆的。

今天还算收益良多。虽然一大堆事情还不在状况内，但会更加努力。
加油咯。
要成为怎么样的人，要拥有真么样的生活，完全是个选择。
这个学期，我选择放弃压力，回到原本能安稳睡觉的自己。交换的条件是，变笨了 。
应该说，反应没那么敏捷。
我不是很喜欢压力，应该说我不爱自己不断给自己压力的感觉。不断推自己也许会打到好的效果，但到最后我还是向往开心简单的生活。

矛盾的个体。

Say Something

so i saw a lot of relationships posts on Facebook.
Nothing, i just want to say something about it.

I don't have faith in love.
but i do believe if you love someone seriously, you pay attention on them.
You will know what they love and what they hate. And you uncontrollably being considerate and sweet for them so that they can feel your care.

I thought it doesn't apply on everyone as people have different style of caring.
But for now, i believe it does apply on everyone in some extent.
somehow, i used to failed to make people know how much i care.
and there are times too when i can't feel people's care as they told me how much they actually care.
I thought my instinct wasn't that accurate all the time. But i guess i should put more confidence on myself. People's words and actions. LOL. i thought when people claimed that they are honest, they really tell no lies. But i am so damn wrong. there are white lies, and everyone define honesty differently. my honesty is not having any single lies to the person i want to be honest to but seems like there are so many versions of definitions for honesty out there.

So, again, i am too naive to trust.
and, i am giving up. lol.

The Angels

woke up at six for Golden Hope event.
i am not willing to do so or i would say i am reluctant to do it.
feel shame of myself for being lazy to participate in community service.
I thank my director for being so determined all this while.
Only realize how meaningful the event is to all those  underpriveledged children until the end of the event.
they hugged me and thanked me for holding the event for them. They felt loved and happy.
It was so simple, so pure for them.
we might not see or understand the impact we created on them, but from the words, from the actions, i saw something. Something that touched me, something that makes me want to be part of the community service member. I willing to volunteer and do something good for these kids and other kids like them out there, they need us. They simply need a little love from us.

They are different. They truly are. I don't know about their background but their guardians told me they are either abandoned by parents or found on street. God knows how lovely they are. They are a bunch of talented children with hopes. They have their own ambitions when most of the kids their age do not what they want for future. I am impressed for their creativity, their characteristics and their passion.

They are simply adorable and pure.
 

是时候。

眼神中的空洞。

其实，剩下的还有什么？

其实我真的没有很聪明。

其实你不说，我永远不明白。

也没有去想明白。

其实你可以在残忍一些。

又或者，像以往的一样，离去不留下理由。

其实，我只需要微笑。

其实，我什么都不要。

其实，我真的很多事都不介意，也可以忍耐。

但，最近我在想这样的性格是不是很不好。

有人告诉我，外国人和亚洲人最大不同的地方是，亚洲人总是不敢说出心中真正的想法，

总是有着为别人着想的观念。所以你不说，我不懂。他问我，如果半夜3点被酒醉的hallmate 拼命拍打房门，我会怎么办。我说，我可以忍耐，我不介意。

他说，See? that's what's the problem is.I wont tolerate with that if I were you. 然后冷笑。

对，我没有想过反抗。默默地接受。

Training 的时候，队长不满意我的作品。我说，要吸引观众的注意，就要用色彩用创意。

他说，这是academic purpose，把作品搞成这样又何必。我不同意但没有反抗，默默的把一切都删除了。朋友说，你为什么不捍卫自己的想法？你没有错啊，必要的时候必须坚持自己的立场。我说，他是队长。她说，队长不是大完。你应该把自己的想法说出，而不是顺从一切。

对，我就是为了避开一切的争执一切不如意的脸色，所以乖乖服从一切。

现在，我连捍卫自己感受的勇气也没有。会的，就是成为滥好人。

别人的一句否定，我就开始怀疑，开始觉得自己是错的。

聆听自己的心，我好久没那么做。

每一秒钟的怀疑，每一分钟的犹豫，这何尝不是无形的枷锁？

我常告诉朋友说，做你想做的，要不顾一切。

而我却告书自己，做别人想要我做的。因为我想看见快乐。

但，这样对吗？

到今天，我看见的是打结了的线绒，缠绵，苏乱。

是时候，揭开所有了吧。就算舍不得，还是要把一切还原。

是时候，成长。

是时候，夺取逃走，逃避的能力。

等价交换

拥有一样东西的同时就要放弃另一样。

一直以为有些事很简单，

但原来有好多事无法控制。

刻骨铭心的回忆，世界的变换，情绪的改变。

我在想，时间的却会将一个人改变，痊愈。

我忘了，太阳怎么替代了黑夜。

也忘了，何时白天终于比黑夜漫长。

每个人都有选择快乐的权利。

快乐本来就不长在别人身上。

所以，我忘了很多事情。

其实就是那么简单。因为选择抛开复杂。

也许代价是容易被骗，被伤害，也许真心换狗屎，但等价交换不是吗？

感受到的负面情绪，我心疼。

快乐些，好吗？