.

I chose period. A full stop. 

Well sometimes it kinda helps because some words mean nothing.

So it happened dramatically, going on in the sound of dispute. Not sure is it correct to put it in this way. 

Anyhow, was confused. 

You know sometimes you don't know what to believe, so you stand still and observe. But there isn't an ending.

U just gonna choose and go on. 

Same with it, chosen, go on, with no regret. Don't let those noises control you. 

Hold your head up, there's thousand millions billions infinity ways of reaching one destination. Why must we follow a same old path. 

That's why. I heard those voices out there. I felt them. But it doesn't mean that they are true. I just keep quiet as I too don't know what is the truth. 

I just clear what am I doing, the more noises they make, the more I remind myself what am I doing. 

Do not play with fire. The golden advice. 

What if I didn't play with it, I just getting nearer to it and see the beauty of the flame? 

And the adjectives came. 

Stubborn. Out of her mind. 

So that's how I don't care comes in place. 

Work

End of first week of intern. 

Well, kinda complicated feelings.

The fear inside isn't cure yet. 

Kinda weird stepping in adult's world.

I have to admit that I am not yet an adult like seriously I am not. 

I don't know what is fake what is pretend. Lol coz I kinda treat everything's real instead of u know, with mask.

Guess I am still trying hard to deal with what's so called social. 

Guess that's long way to learn.

Well back to the topic. 

Yea, internship, the real working life.

I was thinking constantly whether this is the kind of job I want in future. 

Seriously, I don't really think so.

A nutritionist. Nope, that's not me.

Colleagues kinda shock when they heard that I didn't want to be a nutritionist when I graduated next time. Lol they are not the first to react like this.

Yea, u know, I love arts although I don't seem to be creative or what. 

I seem to be stupid and blur. LOL.

I seriously made lots of mistakes which I want to laugh at myself but I guess it annoys smart people a lot. 

Thanks for those who bear with me constant blur and stupid actions. 

I still blur for my future. I tot I wanted to work in a big company. Hmm, but after the internship I will somehow change my mind. Lol. 

But anyway, still feel grateful that my colleagues are super nice although I am not sure they like me or not but I like them. Well, hmm, guess I need to boost up my confidence level. Coz somehow I think communication is super important coz I see many people actually just blowing water. In fact all we need is good in blowing water and make things seems like they are true and sound reliable. 

I am way too honest that I don't know how to twist words into a nicer version. Lol, u know, facts is facts, lying is quite a hmm hard thing to do as it against my principle. Anyhow, trying to find a way out. 9 weeks more, I hope it ends quick. Hahaha  finger cross and strive for better.

Still believe that everyone is good even tough I was told constantly that people do fake their smile and u don't know when they talk bad about u. Well, as long as I talk good about them. I just want to be better. That's all. 

选择变聪明不难，但坚持善良不简单。

要坚持善良就要看自己画的线在哪

怎么双脚踩入泥泞，还有指向彩虹的勇气？

突然觉得好可怕，好多事情不是想象的简单。我真的笨的可怕。

简单有那么难？

正。

讨厌你的也许以后会喜欢你。你讨厌的以后也许会是最爱。

现在不一定是永远。没有不可能的事情。但心态要正确。

就宽容一点吧，也许一切并没有你想象的那么糟。就从容一些吧，要知道微笑还真能改变些什么。

你以为，你认为的，就暂时忘记。用另一种态度，去面对。也许会发现原来，世界还是很美好。只是我们把一切复杂化了。

正不正能量其实就看你的心。

沉。

窒息因为无法将你的思想变宽。
不是只有前后左右，因为不是四方形的。

就好像彩色盘，每个人调的颜色都不会是一样的。
这，才是人类美丽的地方，因为不一样。

了解不是控制，有很多事不只有两个选择，有很多你无法想象的。



窒息是因为越大越没原则，不断附和着，因为害怕失去。
可是每个人都需要一些空间。

窒息是因为知道结局。



喜欢一个人的旅行是因为很自由，因为不用害怕任何言行举止没有按照自己在乎的人想要的模式。我只是一个没什么脑筋，简单的令人无言，傻得令人翻白眼的神经质。

我沉默不代表赞同，我望天不代表我情绪低落，我发呆不代表我觉得闷，我突然兴奋也不代表我很快乐。总之，可以不要不断下定论吗，我不解释因为我有我的理由。我的想法可以天马行空，你也可以，但可以不要就那么确定我是怎么想的，我以后会怎么样然后就怎么样对我。别把框框套在我身上，我只是没有把计划说出，不代表我空空如也。

我只是沉默。