New.

It's new year! 

Great :) 2013, I told myself to dump everything and start from zero again. New year resolution? I just wish to be better me :) 

2013 is a very happening year to me. 

Things happened fast and unpredictable.

It was this year that I changed a lot, internally and externally. 

2013, the year where I was upset during the start, being negative and disappointed. Where I remembered those sadness which made me strong. Those struggles and trusts that broke down that made me who I am now. And then things changed after all those hard days whih I couldn't use words to describe. Too much sorrow. Thanks god that heard my prayer and grant me strength. I got to go Japan and Taiwan. These were the greatest memories for the year that I will never ever forget. People that I met and places that I went. So much joys and happiness :) from there, I changed. I knew that being alone is not a problem when you are mentally strong. Handling problems by myself made me feel that I am growing up and I just love the feeling when I could settle every single problem by myself. I love independent. 

Then I returned home. I knew I changed. Semester start and more happenings.

I did learnt something new which made me become positive. The power of positive is rather strong. However, I become quieter. This is the most significant change where I myself was surprise too. I become serious and quiet. Lol. I still love to be crazy, but then I am more to quiet nowadays. I talked less and think more. I decided to be a great listener who can listen to everyone's heart. I wish I have the ability to heal wounds and I don't mind being an emotional rubbish bin like what my friend once told me. Just talk to me will do. 

Well, people that I met.

I started to appreciate every single person in my life. To those who care and those who don't care. Everyone that gets into my life, they are here for a reason I believe. I might not be good at expressing care and love but I know i do.

So hey, the one who know who you are, I might spent less time with you but you know your own importance. 

So yea, ready to dump everything behind And start something new. All of those have become memories. 

# I won't be the same if we ever meet again. 

Let's get started. 

人与人之间总是有一种奇妙的联系。

不管是短暂还是长久,好的还是坏的，快乐的还是伤心的，对的还是错的。

总是有个理由让人们出现在你的生命中。

感恩因为都是成长的助手。

在家果然不一样，而且兴奋得像什么一样。我是百分百的宅女。待在家就超级懒惰出去。然后什么都不管。哈哈哈。

毁。

毁了。

是的。又再次，毁了。

就是那么矛盾，那么绝望。

我恨。

可，又能怎么样？

是我自己的选择。

很想摇醒自己。不止少一根筋，是少很多根。

为何可以重复后悔？却又藏起来？

为何如此如此的矛盾？永远口不对心？

为何以为的自己原来不过如此。

可以多恨？骗了全世界，结果很可笑？

所以应该必须是这样？

理智？真的可以维持多久？

才知道，有些话千年不变。

才知道，有些话的却如此真实。

潇洒付出的代价。

Lol, 

Built the wall so high.

I made all this myself.

Messed up as usual.

I hate I ruined all first times.

飞

因为喜欢，所以没办法。

但谁又晓得，我原本就是个悲观的人。

差异其实很多，现实其实残忍。

我其实很狠。

如果你懂我的文字。

你会发现，我其实冲动以后就开始逃避。

变化。允许我可以离席是很错的决定。因为我觉得我好像真的会还未散场就离开。

不确定所以不相信。

所以随时，飞翔。

I don't care

Another awesome day :)

Perhaps it's not about the place but it's about the people. Feel great when spend time with the right people :) 

Simply love my awesome friends so much. Thanks god I have met so many lovely people in my life :D 

And it's increasing in amount :) 

It's 1212, feel like it's a holiday for me. 

Have tougher task to do I know. Yet can't resists to enjoy my life first. 

Well, next, gonna finish all those assignments and revision. Quiz again, my Uni memang boleh XD 

What doesn't kill me make me stronger.

Gonna challenge and challenge and challenge myself.

Next will be stage fright. Alright, gonna challenge that too. To shine on a stage I need bravery :D

Woohoo~ what a great life ;) 

At least there's opportunity, I gonna try first even tough I might fail. 

Because I don't care when I love it ;) 

两点四十七分。
星期六的早上，绵绵细雨。
最近都很爱赖床，也许是雨的关系吧。
一个人的假期，其实我很喜欢 。只是，功课一大堆。
感谢教授们要玩死我们的精神。
所以啊，匆匆吃了不知道什么的早午餐就开始忙了。
然后， 又在胡思乱想了。
我的妈， 怎么老爱想回过去。


总是把人类想的太美好， 但现实又并非如此。然后转身离开。
我擅长忘记却又爱上回忆。
总会有一些有的没的提醒以前的自己。

然后恍然发现，原来这几年，我变了好多 。
总是告诉自己要珍惜某些人，却又不晓得该用那一种方式 。
然后，又再次随缘。


总是在开始的时候，充满期待，希望。
可却在半途中，突然觉得好像没办法继续，然后卡住。
却忘了自己点燃了别人的希望。突然离席，似乎有点残忍。

所以，说服我吧。
证明我是错的。如果你可以。

好了，过去，未来，现在。我还是好喜欢，
还是很高兴这么多的回忆这么多的感动

聆听。

很兴奋的一天。

完成了考试，完成了presentation。

然后完成了一连串的 TO DO。

其实很感恩。能够成为聆听者。

很喜欢朋友找我聆听的感觉。谢谢你们的信任。你们的倾诉对我来说是个鼓励。让我更明白自己想要成为一个聆听者。如果我分担了你们的悲伤，请别谢谢我，谢谢自己愿意告诉别人心中的感受。

聆听是一门艺术，我还在学习更多。

希望可以利用聆听帮助更多的心灵。

今天，获益良多。

每个人都是那么独特、那么独一无二的个体。

我好喜欢看见正面的力量。

也很快乐能够在生命中认识很乐观的朋友。

这个学期，的却不一样。无法正确地说自己改变了什么。也许变得不再如此多话，也许变得愿意承担，也许变得安静变得寡言。变的疯癫变的矛盾。但这些变化，我喜欢。

p/s： 好想念日本的那几个星期。那会是我人生中最灿烂的回忆。真的很美好，很闪耀。

Wow my life is so wonderful.

Examination, quiz, assignments and the cycle go round and round and round. LOL! 

Damn I need some fresh air.😠

Can I some exam marathon faster. I am sick of wake up class study eat study eat and study sleep. Lol 

Let me do something else. 

LOL is the best word to describe how I feel. 

Seriously lol. 

Feel hilarious and speechless 

But who cares?

Define naive

Define sincerity 

And define forever.

Guess past is past. :) 

Reminiscing doesn't help much but it just remind me how much love I have in the past and I do believe the future will be even better :)

I love my past but I wish to move on.

Question for the day, doesn't matter at all or doesn't matter at all time? 

Smile because it happened. 

Felt the sadness, the fears and the helpless. Feel so sorry.. I am sorry, I couldn't feel what you feel. That's the tough part of being a listener. I need more time to think of what I can do. There's must be a reason I always get to know your stories. 

I am not expressive kind of person. But hey, I will always stand by you. I might be unavailable sometimes, but as long as u request. I can put my things down and listen. U just don't have to be alone. 

At the same time, heard something meaningful and inspiring. I guess I am way too naive. Way too self centered. 

I need some time to think. 

Such a complicated night. 

I guess I have something important that I need to do.

And I guess I know who I wanna be. Just the direction is still quite blur. I know what kind of person I want to be and what kind of things I wish to do. Just, I don't really have a direction to start off.

The goal, I hope it doesn't change in future. Goal start from kindergarten. The only one thing I insist to do. 

To be good. To be the one who help others without wanting any pay back without any profit kind of things involve in it.

I wish there's peace for my friend. I just wish everything will be okay for her. I wish the very best for her. 

Pray, and amen. 

Somehow a pessimistic.

Giving up without even giving a try.

I don't believe in...

Step forward and move backwards again.

I said I will give up when I think it's not working.

I know, it's not fair. It's just my own thoughts. 

But, I can't speak it out. I just left it there.

So, ya, days with the sun. I don't know how long it gonna last for. But I was thankful to have such great memories.

I guess that's more than enough. 

I am happy and I hope the happiness last long :)

今天，朋友用一块宝来形容自己。他说，他像是未经雕琢的石头。里头藏的都是宝。

我在想，宝的定义每个人都不一样吧。有些说的是外形上的有的是心灵上。外形上居多吧。

缘分其实很奇妙，要找到一个认为你是宝的人的却不容易。毕竟心灵上的 ，他若不了解你有何能认为你是宝。

所以，没有重点，纯粹写爽。

爽了。

长。

是太单纯还是不够复杂。

谈话的过程虽然笑笑而过但却在心里旋起涟漪，有些许无法接受。

每个人的心看起来都一样，但为什么却差别如此巨大。

一种米养百种人。

也许今天的自己看见的不过是一部分，但感觉像是透不过气以及无法明白。

每个人都有保护自己的本能。但，以不停地幻想别人会害你是否让整个世界变成了黑暗帝国？

为何要如此紧绷？为何要如此防卫？

不过是大学功课。

世界如此的大，没有什么事是不可能的。为什么要限制自己的善良，埋没了一切简单快乐的道理？

想不明白是什么让一个人如此的严苛？是以前的经历？家庭背景？教育？还是与生俱来？

不想懂得。不想知道。很害怕突然发现单单纯纯的朋友原来并非如此。所以假装不去想背后的意义。假装很笨很傻。

这算是逃避吗？

有人说逃避很不勇敢。

但，习惯逃避，怎么办？

不想知道人心可以很可怕，不想听见社会很现实、心计心机要处处防备。

不想知道被利用，不想懂得任何看不起，任何两面人，任何口是心非。

可以不长大吗？

可以再简单一些吗？

只希望能坚持善良。

明天。

写了删、删了写。

思绪有一点混乱。又到了自我反省的时间。今天竟然忘了午餐和晚餐。一直以为自己吃了。我有忘食症。lol。难怪又累又饿。

今天时间还是排得满满的。今天又是另一个好天。今天还是带着怀疑。是我太防备还是你没有真心？不知道。随缘吧。everything happens for a reason.我一直这么相信着。

今天又牙尖厉嘴。我想和我谈天会爆血管。lol。大概又要气死一个人了。

今天完毕前竟然能获益良多。就是喜欢和有知识的人谈天。开阔视野的其中一个方法。今天，希望能把义工推广。毕竟自己还蛮想当义工但时间上不能配合，只好“强逼”别人去。无论如何，还是希望能做更多有意义的事。

明天要比今天好。明天要更有意思。明天要多些笑容。明天要更有自信，虚心向学。

要一天一天变更好：）

安。

Can't help with all these doubts.

Cure me. 

Not primary school kids okay.

Not first year student okay.

I don't do what u said without asking questions. So please, use your brain before u organize those damn activities. List out everything and u tot what u said last minutes must be followed? 

If so, u should know u will get a lot of complains. And this haven't finish yet. I will see what is fair and unfair. Wasted my time and held sucks activities like these. Lol, am not that kind and obedient okay?

So let's see, I will keep making noise until u guys do a better job. 

Rules and regulation? Screw it. 

Argh how can I not love my friends? 

They are lovely :)

Am really glad that I have such a bunch of superb friends in my life

Thank god for that ❤❤❤

Good day and move on!!

努力过的感觉太好了。

把心调整好，又是新的挑战。

要不被眼光、言语左右，就要拥有一颗坚定的心。

感谢生命又多了一位天使。

感谢曾经的沮丧，曾经的失落，曾经的难过，才让我明白好多事。 

一切的不完美都有它动人的地方。

一切的缺陷都有它存在的理由。

我喜欢现在。可以很潇洒的，疯狂的，粗鲁的，自由的，帅气的，傻傻的，神经质的呼吸着，存在着。

今天天气很好。

今天笑容很灿烂。

虽然还是要打拼，还是有做不完的功课，读不完的书，办不完的活动，开不完的会议，但，还是能够抽出时间享受我最爱的音乐，写写有的没的。

把心沉淀，你会看见好多美丽的风景：）

Because there aren't an exact answer existing. There's no formula and there's no way to know what's right and wrong.

Because every single person have their own unique stories. There are no more or less the same and they goes into a unique way where people couldn't predict what's next.

Uncertainty made it looks so beautiful and people want it so much that they define it as poison as drugs as diamond as roses as anything that they feel towards it.

Yet, what I know about it is choices, feelings, doubtness and perfection.

What I see is it the truth and reality. This how it made me feel so confuse and ambiguity. 

I am standing still holding my fist. To walk forward or to turn around and walk a way. God said its in my hand. It's only me who can make a decision.

I said I have no idea. Can I stand for longer time. Will the flower wilt and the butterfly gone? Will the sun drift away and left the rain? 

I am standing still holding my fist. 

Waiting something but I don't know what, maybe we call it miracle or we call it fate. 

Make me walk if you want to, lead me to the sunshine and make me believe.

Good things and bad things. Not too bad actually. Just I magnified it lol.

Been blaming too much recently.

Lol, assignments, reports plus tests. 

And the seriously stupid wifi in my Uni. 

Can't use the Internet :(

Coughed like mad with heartache. I wish it will recover soon. My cough is causing a lot of noises and its painful when trying to hide the cough. 

Still I like how the hard situations have shaped me into. Yea, I blamed a lot but that's just words. Lol.

Still managed to do things even though have not much energy left. And by the way,apetite gone once came back here. So again, less apetite and not much feeling of hunger. Great perhaps? 

Once again, I guess I am lack of patient seriously. Gah, stop doing things half way. Do it with heart. Lol

And yea, I do believe in fate. A lot. 

Sometimes some people are meant to appear in your life. Maybe? 

And sometimes when u let someone go they will gone forever. 

Been pressing myself, squeezing stressing myself. Things come in one shot. Finger cross for healthier body. 

Gayao :) 

终于病了。lol。 

病了才知道要挤笑容好难。

不好意思，扑克脸又来了。

好难撑，病了才明白病人需要什么。太久没大病一场。

希望自己的免疫力很好，可以在一夜之间好回。

:( 

调整心灵。

不过是世上的一粒尘沙。

还无法参透一颗尘沙能有何作为。

表面与心灵如此差距。要如何调整？

要如何相信自己？

又是黑夜，又是迷茫。

当女人需要你的时候，你却不在，那她永远都不再需要你了。

lol 我想不只是女人。当你需要的人在你需要的时候无法出现又或者根本不在乎你的需要，那你永远都不会再需要他了。

〜独立的由来。

每个人的生活都有自己精彩的部分。

今晚虽然还是无法闭上眼安静地听音乐，但，却认识了很好的人们。

我的确慢热，是很慢热。

我的确被动，是很被动。

我的生活，除了减肥，就还有要变更好。

加油哦：）安静了许多，有进步了。呵呵。

下一个，深思熟虑。

又一步

一步又一步。

顾名思义，Liv,leave.

有些小事还是会在乎。

祝福我，变得更洒脱。

每一件事背后的原因都是能够让人成长的。

要微笑也要拥有更多的正能量。

当不在乎的时候就不会再想了。

慢慢就能够不想了：）

加油了，想得太多，在乎太多，抓得太紧，带来的只有反效果。

有些疑问终于能够克制自己，沉默。

但还有进步的空间。

要慢慢不再问，不再太过坦白。

：） 不是每个人都适合诚实。

碎

越长大就越能明白，每个人的包袱都不一样。

思想简单没有错，思想复杂也没有不对。

不同的背景往往能够造就不同类型的人。

现实的确与想象不一样。

是不是要告诉自己，是时候停止发梦。

还是告诉自己，无论别人多看不起自己的梦想，只要明白自己在干嘛就好了。

不敢告诉别人自己的计划。因为往往听见的是不切实际，浪费时间。渐渐怀疑自己了。为什么一定要和别人一样？

问了这个问题后，会有人说，你太任性。也会有人说，家庭背景不一样就是可以这样。也有人说，你还没明白这社会有多现实。

问题是，为什么大家一定要复杂才叫成熟。 为什么富有才是成功。

迷惑了。难道追求快乐就很没出息？

出人头地的定义是什么？

太简单了吗？ 

生存只为了要有足够的金钱享受？

还有呢？

我为什么不能拥有自己的梦想？

一次又一次的冷言是要告诉我放弃吧，还是只是一种考验。

还是要感恩。可以写下心情的感觉真好！ 

NEW.

Starting new semester soon.

hooray? boo? 

haha, well, the system of my college is changing for this coming semester.

and almost every penghuni is not happy with it.

New challenge every start of semester, lol, great?

hmm. gonna change housemates soon. good or bad? for now, we see it as bad thing, but who knows?

Anyway, i was not happy with this decision too. Used to be the way we are. and now, we have to start all over again. Second thought, it's good too. somehow, this long semester break have us changed a lot i guess. At least i do know i have changed. =)

I hate people not appreciating my hard work. Guess thats a lesson God want me to learn. For many times, i blamed, feeling unfair, disappointed.

But things happened for a reason. 

To treat people good, to be sincere, u can't think of the pay back.

u cant expect things to happen in the way u want it to be.

Next challenge of my semester, to be better than the yesterday's me. =)

i know what to do, and i know what should i do.

grow up and shine =)

smile on the face. 

be grateful for anything=)

不喜欢悲哀，很讨厌悲观，太憎恨负能量。

这一课，很漫长。

像战争，不断挣扎。

如果能用一把刀，把所有的一切切断，重新来过，我想我会不惜一切那么做。

但，明明知道，上帝安排的这一切一定是要我明白些什么。一定是要我学会些什么。

依然感谢拥有一群让我笑不停的朋友。

但，人生太顺畅也许就少了乐趣。

所以才要不断的精神上折磨。

不过是要圆满，到底为何那么的难。

如果有一天我放弃了。

字

全身而退。

时间，慢动作。

还有，倔强。

：）

其实每个人都需要鼓励、认同。

花少少的时间为朋友支持，加油真的挺有意义。

看见笑脸，看见想变得更好的勇气，真的开心。

我感谢愿意找我分享的人。

有时候，自己会一副无所谓的样子，怕的只是，太感性会变得肉麻。

所以宁愿一些人觉得我没心没肺。

总而言之，微笑吧。

若有所思。

是不是当完完全全的了解一个人以后，反而会无法接受他的一切。

听着故事，若有所思。

一个人的性格、行为、态度。

曾告诉别人，真正的朋友永远能够接受你的所有一切。

现在，我质疑。

很多时候，欲言又止。

以前天真无邪的坦率现在已被现实磨灭。

看表情，听声音，观动作。

慢慢成为一种习惯。

迁就、配合、符合。何不是只想要圆满。

不想懂有多复杂。不想听太多的言语。不想被影响。毕竟拥有自己的原则。

越长大就要越成熟。

而成熟需要靠自己。

并非年龄增加就等于成熟。的却并非如此。

又是时候为心灵补充养分。

加油了。从心、重新出发。

用心或敷衍，不难分辨。

second day staying with host family.
well, my host family isnt a rich family but host mama is trying her very best to give me good things=)
she did sacrificed especially during meals. she didnt eat much so that me and her children can have most of the food. nobody notice it but i saw how she give out her loves silently.

she is a great mother. she never blame but she tried her best to take care of her child.
Guess this is another chance for me to grow. I know i can take care of myself and also the others. being tough and strong enough for everything. God always have His own reasons for things to happen.

reflection., time for reflection =)

Left two weeks in Japan.

Ask me do I feel sad about it. Nope..I don't @.@

Well, my friend is super sad once he think of leaving here. 

Guess it depends on people. I didn't have really strong bond with people here. In fact, I didn't really trying hard to build relationship with people. So is my problem. 

Words sometimes couldn't be trust. U have to know hidden meaning behind. Am not good at expressing myself. But I really like people here. They are just so kind and friendly. And polite. They are so polite. Really love Japanese culture. I think this is why they can be so developed. They are so humble and they always think about people's feelings in the first place. 

Have too many first time in Japan . Lol unforgettable experiences I guess. Somehow am too tired to think. So so busy with activities and never slept well for more than five days. Gosh, am still young for crazy stuff. 

This is probably a trip which enable me to know who am I and what I am able to do.

Well, getting stronger, tougher. And yea, I I am a good follower. Lol, can't help to listen to whatever order. Not a good leader though. Am good at following intruction. As long as u tell me what u want, I guess I will somehow fulfill ur will. Lol. 

Japan is really a nice place. Still I prefer malaysia. Still love malaysia even it is sucks. 

And yes I miss home. 

Living alone is not a problem but feeling lonely is quite a problem. 

Sometimes I wish I am not in a familiar gang. I wish to go strange places and meet with strange people. Stay in a place  where there is people who know nth about me. Lol. But it's Asian culture to be collectivist.

Individualist doesn't work here. Jeff is a good example. I feel sad for him. For me, I don't think he is a bad guy or what. Rather I think that it's his culture and background which made him to be like straight forward without considerating people's feeling. I will talk to him although I don't think he recognize me. Lol to him every Asian is the same. 

Anyway, just feel pity. When everyone like not really willing to even sit beside him. 

:( I willing to be his friend if he willing to mine. Lol

Anyway, nt being crazy over here. Could hardly though. Getting more and more serious plus mature. Is that a good thing? I don't think so. 

Couldn't be like a kid anymore. Lol. 

Still, holding firm at my principles. To be good and pure. Be a better me :) 

Gambateh ne!

又是新的一天了。

把昨晚的累丢掉。

旅行可以让人成长。看着不同环境、背景造就的人们，好神奇。

世界不是非黑即白。我懂得的道理，别人不一定赞同。

渐渐看见自己的颜色，看见自己的模样。

无奈。

当沟通越少，距离就越远。

你用越不明白我想的是什么，我永远看见你的不明白，却又无法解释。

我永远不明白你想的是什么，你永远看见我误会。

所以原本的直线变成了平行线。永远遇不了。

所以你不会想明白我文字背后的意义。我也不清楚你脸孔的表情。

到最后，也许连再见也忘了说，就这样消逝。

没有了沟通，没有了全部。也许到最后才会懂的叹息，当初的沉默。

算了吧。缘生缘灭。又何必强求。

Tried and guess what? 

Ppl doesn't really care in the end.

Lol. Feels stupid.

I am the one who care so much.

So tell me, why should I have stronger bond.

Forget about bonding and forget about the so called"caring".

It's nth anyway. Lol.

Ironic.

思。

今天看了痞子英雄。

谁是谁非有时真的不是用肉眼就能分辨。有时你以为的坏人其实很善良，也可能你以为的好人其实拥有一副面具。也许做好事真的不需要宣扬，也许没有人懂没有人感激也无所谓。要坚持善良何不需要勇气。要经得起好多考验。要善良要正义要慷慨要宽容真的没有那么容易。所以很多人选择容易的路吧。有时我也很自私，选择一个人，放弃分享。我想在这道路上要学习的真的好多。不止是善良而已。。

我要的单纯有何能够真的纯？

小小的鼓励，我也很珍惜。

谢谢，相信我的人。

谢谢，对我善良的人。

:) 

也许别人都不晓得我常怀疑自己。

但，无时无刻的鼓励真的有好大影响。

今天，一个人的风景。我喜欢。

教授问，LIV,will you come here alone if all ur Msia friends are not coming here with you? 

毫不犹豫，Yes。

其实，一个人的旅行，能看见、感受更多。真的打算一个人流浪。

什么是成功？对现在的我来说，真的不是赚很多的钱。我听见每个人的愿望是要有好工作，做个有钱人。也许社会压力，家庭背景影响吧。我的目标暂时不是这样。有时很迷茫，因为我的想法总是个别人不一样。我没有说，只是附和着大家。

一直不愿意让人明白自己的想法，别问为什么。我也不知道。就是默默地把自己的意见收起来。

日。二 。

一个星期。

在这里， 我每一天都得走好几个小时。每一天都有不同的活动，每一天都早出晚归。
充实的不得了。

今天原本想乖乖的待在家，但还是被日本朋友邀出去了。拒绝了两次，真的不好意思再拒绝第三次。大家都好好玩哦，很感激很感恩可以遇到那么棒的一群人 ＝D
今晚的确很开心。


好了 ，不太会描述发生的一切，所以还是写感受好了。
世界真的好大，而我真的一直都活在自己的世界里。
班上一位从泰国来的学生， 他好讨厌自己的国家。他的思想好负面。
今天他说， 他不会相信任何人，除了他的家人。我问他，总有一个朋友是值得你相信的吧。他说，没有。 我在想，没有信任的友情是什么样子。没有了信任，剩下的是什么？
我想他背后一定有他的故事。


班上一位来自新加坡的学生，他好有学问，懂得好多。我在想，他都如何拥有这些常识呢？ 是兴趣吗？我对历史没有兴趣。是我太急性？还是我太懒惰？
教授的课越来越深了。它牵涉了好大的范围。是我从来不会去想的问题， 从来都没有接触的知识。文化的力量又岂能被看小？他的影响力超越想象。


好了，太多的想法暂时无法全部写下因为我累了。
oyasumi.

日。

在日本的第六天。

遇到了好多不同的人，自己也很快地随着大家的culture而改变。
但唯一不变的是 ，我还是满难聊的吧。 话题终结者非我莫属啊。
不断努力想话题变成我每天必须做的事了，虽然很乐意， 但，很不好意思，我真的习惯性的不发问，喜欢静静的观察。猜测。
还是迷迷糊糊的。 就不停地闯，说不上勇敢，但就是没有害怕 。
好喜欢这里的感觉， 大家好有规矩。尤其是准时的习惯。我喜欢准时的习惯，这样就能更准确的计划好每一样事情。

在这里上课，我都不会打瞌睡，是完完全全的觉得一个小时半过得太快。
真的第一次听课不看时间，完全专心地消化教授的话。
果然是对科学以外的事感兴趣！

对了，值得一提的是，在这里我好欣赏一位女生的艺术细胞，她不但长得漂亮，他拍的照片真的好有艺术感！！ 看来我得加把劲！学习更多有趣的事 ＝）

另。

人总是现实。不起眼的沙永远不被看见。当沙变珍珠却变了稀奇物。

所以，又怎能批判努力把自己变得更出色的人呢？又怎能鄙视努力发光的女人？想不一样，想漂亮地像天上的星星是本能也是人们现实主义的结果。

如果你不屑美丽的事物，那你可以尽情的批评。但如果你也会不小心的先看外表在看内涵，请在下定论前三思。

心中有佛看谁都是佛。

这，是要警惕自己别带有色眼镜。

缘

缘，这个字，总是那么奇妙。

这七个屋友，相处了两年。说长不长，说短不短。

该怎么形容这份情。我想思念也许会吧。毕竟两年内的情已滋长。

我们都有着不同的个性，我应该会用成熟去形容这一家吧。我想无时无刻疯癫的就只有我吧。我很喜欢她们疯癫的时候。 但，大部分的时间大家都很冷静。结果，我在这的确学会好多自律。

这个家，不像隔壁家吵吵闹闹。我喜欢热闹但，这样也不错。

也喜欢大家的体谅，有时会很有默契的照顾对方但又不说出口。心里的感激就这样久久地荡着。

这个家像柴米油盐，像是不起眼但又不能少。

也许会分离，也许会怀念，但随缘吧。

冥冥中只有安排。

不是每个文字都需要明确的逻辑。

不是每件事情都有合理的解释。

不是每一个思想都拥有一定的理由。

有时就是那么的让摸不着头脑，那么让人想不通。自由发挥不是为了让人明白、欣赏而存在。就像花开花谢根本没有要人们为它们开心叹息。

有时能够无法解释的，需要的事接受。不是开始怀疑没有理由背后是否有谎话。

还是沉默吧。

想流浪。

Third paper Tmr. Still a long way to go.

Have a medium long chat v roomie. 

Talked about career, academics and future. Heavy topics at this hour I know. 

Well, at some point I am confuse. Confuse about my path and my future. I know I didn't want to choose nutritionist as my career. But I didn't think do my plan works.. I am afraid of hearing phrases like wasting four years for nothing. 

We have our own problems. Struggles and lost. It's all about capability and ability. Academic is not about memorizing and scoring. Without practical and understanding, it's just nothing. 

Too urge to think of future? 

Second may be still considered as junior but it's going to third year and soon graduate. 

I don't know whether will I change my mind right now or will I regret of what I choose. But somehow, I am not a science people. Although I find it easier to study biology as all u need is understand it and memorize. It won't change. 

Unlike economics or IT, they are more challenging and interesting. 

Like what my roomie said, there's a reason why u are being put into this situation or position. There is always a reason for things to happen. Maybe I was blind from all those unknown. Maybe I should believe and keep going on. 

But for times, I still doubt, at the system, at the education. Am I really learning something? Am I able to apply things I have learned despite memorizing blindly for exams? 

And, LOL, I lack of motivation for exams seriously. And, I long for graduation.lol. Pathetic. I doesn't love upm still.

Anyway. Keep going and excel. What else? :)

要逼自己幻想考试的美好。

果然不能安安静静地坐着。

常常会经历莫名奇妙消失的友情。

长越大，就越懒得重新述说自己的一切。

花开花谢，永远不会懂得未来会发生什么事。逝去的也许能够重新拥有。

叹息。也会害怕自己把事情看得太表面。装傻应该是一种逃避。这也是为什么我喜欢和小孩呆着，因为单纯，因为直接。

虽说爱心理学爱读心术，但懂得太多也未尝是件好事。

细腻是女人与生俱来的天赋，不管多粗枝大叶的女生都能比男生细微。

只是我想有时候只是嘴上不说，心里懂得就好。

Silence.

Keep silence at last. 

Was going to ask do you know why am I telling you everything even if I knew what reaction you gonna give me?

But, forget about it. 

Just... Wondering.. The world doesn't work like how I imagine it to be.. U have to trust and have faith and forcing everything to be like what you want. You think grass is the best for the horse but it is not a must. Grass may not be the best damn thing.. There is so many possibilities out there u just can't treat it as only one outcome for every stuff.

Believe is the thing u never did. What can I say? 

Seriously, silence. 

Too much problems keep popping out. Sigh~ 

Well, have to overcome. What else? 

Couldn't concentrate in study so I flipped through my high school memories.

So I read those words that my friends left on my book..kinda weird as I realized there's a different between the me NOW and the me LAST TIME. Couldn't remember I used to be friendly and cheerful based on how people described me. I guess this kind of description is not appropriate for me now perhaps? 

And I didn't know I used to talk a lot of nonsense and cold jokes and there are so many friends that I don't really remember how we know each other but it seems like we knew each other because I talked lame things and made them laugh. LOL, I used to be a crazy insane naive girl and now what have I turn into?

Well, I still blur and I did a lot of stupid things. I guess this is in the gene and couldn't be change anyway. Hah. But talking nonsense is lesser already. I guess? And I have been lazy to build up new close friendship with people. Just didn't take initiative to introduce myself and get to know the others. I remember last time I love to find out almost every friends' interests, like and dislike, characteristics, their stories and so on. Well, now, am reluctant to ask. Or I often feel awkward when with people I don't really know. I don't have much topic to talk and most importantly I always ended the topic. Which means I stop after I answered a question. Alright, I know I have this problem but I forgot to ask questions u know. LOL. There was once my friend asked me some question trying to chat v me. So I answered and then.....

After few minutes I remembered I should ask back some question so that the topic goes on. LOL, and guess what, she said, luckily u asked me question. U know I was gonna ask u why didn't u ask me question just now. LOL! Alright, not purposely but just... Am like that anyway. 

Well high school and form six are the best memories I have through out my long study life. Especially form six. Seriously, I really never thought it could be so fun. I will laugh at least twice for one day. LOL. U can imagine how funny my friends were. I bet I will miss my Uni life too when I work next time. As I didn't know I will miss form six like that when I was in form six. So I guess I will miss Uni life too? 

Although am still not very attached to Uni gang but we did have great memories together :) well, I hope something big encounter us, u know problems are chances that bond all of us together. Unless people are not willing to be together to settle problems and support each other. I long for a real bonding between us. Maybe it's hard but it's not impossible right. 

23 people and 23 different characteristics. Two more years to go :) 

Be positive and go on!!! UPM sucks but I still gonna rock it anyway :) 

挫折感。 为什么我那么笨？ :(

1.10am

对啦，又迟睡。

回来怡保这一趟，又让我上了人生的几堂课。感恩小事、大事带来的启示。

天使与魔鬼往往只在一念之间。没有一个人永远是天使。也没有一个人永远是恶魔。所以，当觉得别人是恶魔的时候，先想想自己，是不是也是恶魔？

在利益关头，你才会看见谁是真心朋友。但也别太严苛，想想他们平时的好。也想想自己又真的很好吗？很无私慷慨大方吗？没有。所以停止埋怨，停止不满。

虽然无条件的善良会很累，尤其是没人珍惜，没人感恩。而你却不断地吃亏，有时可能还会被责怪，但还是要努力善良。因为这样才是我喜欢的自己。

感谢愿意聆听的朋友家人。我可以很长气、唠叨。也感恩拥有讲义气，总是疼我，总是愿意帮我的朋友。你知道你是谁吧。谢谢，当我觉得友谊不过如此时，掏心掏肺不过如此时，从会想起，至少还是有真心的朋友。口中不提，但真的很感谢。只是不好意思表达。

：） 谢谢啦，那一些我很珍惜的朋友。

Define procrastination. 

I am doing it right now.

So yesterday I told my friend, u can't be success if u never taste failure.

And today, failure approach me.

And yes, disappointment :/

Real hard to have motivation again.

When you have so many things inside ur mind. 

What's next ? Reluctant to move yet I know I have to work hard for my dreams for what I want in my life.

But, I am like the old engine which hasn't been generated for ages. And it's not functioning. :/ 

My ambition? 

I just want to be a happy person.

Is turning myself as someone who are great in memorizing notes will guarantee me to be awesome and successful in future? I doubt.

Why we need to see grades and cgpa so important? And most importantly, why I seems like following the trend? Studying just to answer exam questions. 

What about other skills? If the society or company doesn't judge people with their cgpa anymore what am I? 

Am I outstanding enough to be hire? Do I know other knowledge beside nutrition? 

Did I enjoy what I am learning? Does learning have to be only one way? 

And to become successful, there are a thousand ways. Why are we believing so much in academic result do bring successfulness in future? 

And why I have no right to choose elective subjects that I like? Why nutrition students have to study nutrition only? 

And why nobody dare to voice out doubts?? Why must I follow the rules that I don't even understand the purpose of the rule? So this foodnatic club automatic considered all nutrition students as member. then they asked us to pay rm5 for member fees. Well, rm 5 is not the problem. But the problem is what have this club done? There are no activities and what are the functions of beig a member? I mean what do I pay for? So ppl are paying the fees because they are asked to. Well, I doubt and that makes me look stingy and like a rebellious girl who doesn't want to pay for her own food.i mean why are people complaining at the back and doesn't want to voice it out. 

And why is everybody so scare? And I asked. Is that wrong? @.@ I wondered. 

Anyway, craps a lot and duh, this university is really indescribable. LOL.

我想每个人都是自私的吧。对自己利益有冲突的时候，你就能看见一切。

不能否认，的确会感到失望，原来友谊不过如此。

在慢慢长大的过程中，所谓的单纯，所谓的付出，也只不过是文字。会慢慢懂得，真心不是每个人都懂得欣赏，也不是每个人都看得见。也许那个嘴贱、总是一副无所谓的样子，总是想不顾你生死的人，才是对你最真心的。也许你以为的真心，其是一种互利互惠的关系。

对人好但却又不计回报真的好难。并不是期许现实的回报，只是当在某些状况之下，看见为了自身利益而不管你生死的人后，真的心灰了。

学会把那份失望藏起来。但防备意识好像又增加了。以前，我很喜欢pillow talk.但现在的自己，只愿意聆听。倾诉对我来说是遥不可及的事。

多看看人们美好的部分，假装忘记为了利益不顾一切的模样，也许那模样是在提醒我别为了利益不顾一切。

今天才如梦初醒。要坚持善良还真不容易。

我想每个人都是自私的吧。对自己利益有冲突的时候，你就能看见一切。

不能否认，的确会感到失望，原来友谊不过如此。

在慢慢长大的过程中，所谓的单纯，所谓的付出，也只不过是文字。会慢慢懂得，真心不是每个人都懂得欣赏，也不是每个人都看得见。也许那个嘴贱、总是一副无所谓的样子，总是想不顾你生死的人，才是对你最真心的。也许你以为的真心，其是一种互利互惠的关系。

对人好但却又不计回报真的好难。并不是期许现实的回报，只是当在某些状况之下，看见为了自身利益而不管你生死的人后，真的心灰了。

学会把那份失望藏起来。但防备意识好像又增加了。以前，我很喜欢pillow talk.但现在的自己，只愿意聆听。倾诉对我来说是遥不可及的事。

多看看人们美好的部分，假装忘记为了利益不顾一切的模样，也许那模样是在提醒我别为了利益不顾一切。

今天才如梦初醒。要坚持善良还真不容易。

Legend.

Har... Exams are over. Well, finally. Although my final is in two weeks time. Geek. Had a great Friday, I have to mentioned. Great food, great chat, great shoppings. 

Didn't really sleep well for this semester and I don't know why. Bed problem? Nope. Stress? Nope. Just don't know. I remember what I have dreamt of and it makes me feel tired. Hmm..

Another thing to mention. Listened to inspired speech recently :) yea, I need more inspirations to guide me. Well, it was from honorable member of golden key,Christopher. Strongly agree with what he said. CGPA isn't everything seriously. I guess I mentioned about result is nt that important for several times. What makes u different among all students? What can u do to make urself outstanding? I am as well thinking what makes me different.

4.0 cgpa is easily found everywhere.

But creative ideas and attitude are unique in everyone. It's just so much things to be learnt yet I got so little time to explore more. I wish I could do more. Excel more on things that I love. 

I am not very smart honestly. I knew that well. But, yes, I believe I have something different. It's just the matter that I have confidence to show it out or not.

My to-do list is still a long way to go and it's been updating everyday :)

Let's get started by having the first step ~

Life is great!!

P/S: BE A LEGEND! 

对不起，乌龟还是应该待在壳里。

伤害自己总比伤害别人好。

也许没有了接触, 就不会有伤心。 

也许把自己收起来就能皆大欢喜。

打了场篮球。我喜欢流汗的感觉。
原来打篮球也可以领悟一些事。
我看见自己的弱点，看见自己不认输的样子，看见硬硬来的自己。

整颗球击中的当儿，我尝到血的味道。
然后我看见自己的软弱。我也有软弱的一面，原来。只是我把它吞下，硬要笑硬要一副无所谓的样子。
其实没有勇气喊痛，没有勇气流泪，才是懦弱的人吧。

但不假装又怎能变得更强悍。好像是理所当然，反正也不会有人猜那笑容，玩闹的背后是什么。是那么的没自信。曾经告诉别人，有那么一种人看似很自信，但他不过在掩饰自卑的一面。因为需要的不过是鼓励但却又无法让人懂得这样的想法。

总是轻而易举地鼓励别人，但就是无法鼓励自己。总是不断否认别人的赞赏，因为总觉得那只不过是客套话。 我在想，总得把自卑戒掉吧。总得靠自己。

加油了。还是还自己一个微笑吧：）

落幕了。
很感恩，我以为在这个大学不会找到办活动的那份归属感，那份执著，那份热忱了。
还曾经后悔为何在第一年时没有不顾一切地参与浪潮，错过了更多学习，快乐的机会。
但很开心，这个学期、无论多远，多忙都坚持出席每一个例常和练习。认识了那么多可爱的浪人，体会那么多感动。

我没有一百分但我真的会很努力。努力学习演出，因为我喜欢演戏。我喜欢疯疯癫癫，喜欢从不同角色体会不同的人生观。

只是我发现，我真的不太会表达。习惯性的把很多意见和感受藏起来。把很多情绪硬硬吞下。也许习惯了慢慢就会变得像没有情绪的人一样。

Slept late for few nights, no, is few months.. I guess LOL!

Well, my goal of sleeping early is ruined by tons of activities, assignments, reports and of coz exams..

Believed that I am able to play hard, study hard and rock my Uni. :)
So here I am, doing things I like And keep learning new and inspired things!

Ya, Upm sucks, the systems sucks, bus sucks, food sucks, government sucks, election sucks and exams sucks LOL
But oh yeah, my life still beautiful because of awesome people, creative ideas, and the togetherness we had.
Well, unite, people. Unite not just to fight evil but unite as one as we are the same:)

Still believe in fate, God and everything else after all. Life is still wonderful and think of what u have once u are free.
Keep those blaming aside and look, the greatness of Mother Nature, the lovely family and whatever you are having. Gratitude. :)

And yes, gonna rock!!
Next plan, to take risk :)

怪、孤。

似乎变得不耐烦，而且温柔这形容词词离我好远。
不是要变得很温柔，只是心不够细腻。
因为没有想得太多，简单来说，没为他人着想。

还是怪人一名，对不起了，如果让你觉得我毫不在意，总是冷漠。我只是少一根筋。

因为细腻所以明白。
把那一份敏感藏起来，然后懵懂的配合。
我在想，这何不是另一种伪装。

配合，可以如此的完美，也可以如此的愚昧。人们都爱被认同、肯定的感觉，不是吗？ 但可不可以珍惜那一分配合，因为一切不是理所当然。

要知道，我的强项不是温柔，是强悍。

好像只是这样。

敷衍乃是天生。也或许是另一种逃避方式？

如果你看见海芋的强悍，而不是它的美丽，那你应该值得拥有。

可惜。彩虹不代表天晴。

也许命中注定？

渺。

如此微不足道。如此愚昧。
反省再反省，思量再思量。

如此修养不足。如此浅薄知识。
谦卑再谦卑，学习再学习。

不断警惕，提醒。不过如宇宙般的尘埃，如此渺小。要发光，首先必须虚心向学。骄傲自大自满会让人窒息。用心把心擦亮。

文字。

我喜欢文字。

我不知道为什么。就是热爱写写有的没的。

常常在每一个空白的地方，考卷，课本，笔记本，废纸，别人的书等；留下字迹。
因为灵感一来，就好想写。 像是本能一样，不管文笔好与坏，写完后都会有种满足感。
也从来没想过什么是好的文法或写作的技巧。不想学，因为一旦学会就会像个框框一样，被套住。

所以，自由地用我喜欢的形容词，把文字依照我喜爱的方式连接，呈现出我想表达感觉。
奇妙的地方是，每一个人阅读咀嚼后都会有自己不同的感觉。这，就是文字的魔力。
道理和烹饪一样，用创意呈现不同的菜色，每个人的味蕾不同所以每个人的体会也会不一样。
所以， 无限的创意就是这么一回事吧。 没有对与错，因为每个人都是不同的个体，有不同的想法。了解领悟这个道理后，可以应用在生活上。 就是因为每个人不一样， 所以我们才要互相包容，想跳Tango一样，你进我退，我进你退。

每一件事都没绝对， 用心生活，用心呼吸，感受每一个不同的人事物。

近。

认识了一群很棒的人。

认识了一群热爱艺术的人。

所以我的世界又多了些色彩啦！

还是很忙， 但还是能够有一些属于自己的空间。 欣慰 =）

今天看见报章介绍一本不错看的书, 忘了书名。 LOL。
但下一个目标应该就是它了。噢，我还有好多书没看完。

最近身子出了些小状况。 才明白平淡的幸福。
原来，健健康康地， 是如此的珍贵。

很感谢生命中出现的贵人， 哪怕只是个路人， 哪怕只是在生命中短暂的出现；也能让我感觉好欣慰。谢谢，我也许面无表情， 也许不会甜言蜜语，也许有时很冷淡，话不多，也许我什么也不说； 但我真的在心里感谢。我会努力回报，也许你会说不需要，但， 请允许我这么做，因为这是表示谢谢与珍惜的方式。

To learn to be blamed without blaming back.

To learn to apologize even tough u have done nothing wrong.

To learn the fact that what you have done is invisible.


I am tired.

因为重生后就不会再让死亡发生。
是本能，不是吗？

把地球仪转一转，这样会不会比较好？

清醒大概就是如此。

That hurts.

Thorns of rose.

Thanks for that.

I dream a dream

Getting busy with upcoming performance.
It's my first time.
I like the training , I like the tiring time when we all work so hard together :)
It's been a long while I never enjoy working in a big team, producing something amazing.

Whether success or failure, I still love the process and I enjoy very much seriously.
I was given the chance to do something I really like:) thanks god!

Read articles from newspaper and inspired me again. It asked, what do you have if ur professional being taken off.
Yea, what do I have except my knowledge on nutritionist? What should I work ad except nutritionist ? Well, I didn't think of working as nutritionist in my future life. Lol. Everyone ask me why when I tell them I never plan to be a nutritionist. Ehem, that's for knowledge. Basically, I wish to do things that I like. I like acting, I like broadcasting and yes, I like to be promoter too. LOL. All these jobs are being classified as non-professional by other ppl who thinks that doctor, teacher, engineer is more money earning, and their future will be brighter. But for me, those so called non-professional jobs are what I want. I dream of being a wedding planner, being someone who planed a perfect wedding for couples. I dream of being a photographer, who snapped pictures that can touch ppl's heart and write captions which can inspire ppl. I dream of being a writer, yea, a writer who writes amazing stories and who turn feelings into words.
I have many dreams and I thought those were just dreams until today. I know I can make them true by actions.

So now, am trying hard to learn everything I love :) there are so many things to be learnt. And yea, I love life and I am fabulous :D

Well, keep going on and feel the beauty of my life


Rock!!!

Create happiness and happy you will be :)

Star

Traveling is my hobby and traveling v family is mega love :)

Because u can be so comfy and do whatever you want.

Anyway, get tired easily but am enjoy :)
After the exam marathon, seriously I am having a true holiday now haha

It's just so simple to be happy
So stop worrying and start smiling
Shine brighter than the shooting star

要把墙再围得高一些。
掏心掏肺到最后，感动了自己。

心

现在真的不应改写下心情的
从早上忙至现在，真的没有停过。
最近都好忙好忙，忙功课，忙成绩，忙活动，忙心情，忙朋友，忙人际，忙是非。

最近顾虑的事太多，好像不知觉的忽略了一些人一些事。

好了，杂乱的心情。
突然觉得每个人都有自己天使的一面。
所以尽量看见别人的好，然后感恩，谢谢。
有时候会问，他凭什么这样对我，既然他这样为什么我还要好好地对待他？
其实很简单，因为你和她不一样。因为你要明白他也许拥有着心情的挣扎，也许他有着自己的理由，自己的看法。
我们不能让每一个人都喜欢自己，也不必要时刻因为别人的眼光，别人的价值观而改变自己。只要用心，真心的对人，凡事问心无愧就好了。

加油吧：） 我不是一个很好的人但我会努力的变更好。
也许不理会任何眼光、任何想法很难。但我希望能不随波逐流，坚持做好每一样事，用心对每一个人，珍惜每一个回忆：）

Walls

What are those walls?
I wondered.

Why are them getting higher..

Somehow, read some sign and symptoms of ppl who needs help from psychologist.
I got some of them! LOL!!

So I am a physco who needs help.
Ehem, sometimes I wonder what am I thinking?

Talk

End of the day :)

Well was blaming quite a lot today..
Was blaming why so damn many gossips in this world. LOL!
And blaming why need to turn everything so complicated. LOL!

That's not good though.

Should have think from another angle?
I admit I always have different point of view, different feelings and different thoughts.

I just couldn't understand why? Haha
I don't understand why I need to take care of other ppl's business. I mean I am not qualified enough to judge anyone. I listened to one side and I don't get to know what's happening the other side. That's the reason why I don't want to take either side. That's the reason why I don't want to involve in it. So they think I am so naive because I never met such complicated, hard situation. And they thought I am so pure little girl who lives inside my own world and first time exposé to such scary,dramatic situation. Zzz
Ehem, perhaps that's a good thing to make myself look as dumb as possible , as naive as possible. LOL! So that I can get myself clear from all those gossips.

So I continue to laugh and jokes around. LOL, that's the way to make myself out of those things I don't want to encounter.

That's not the life I want.

Anyway, no offense but u don't even know 5% of me, so just don't talk like u understand me well. Erm, u don't. Coz u know keeping quiet doesn't mean I agree and laughing around doesn't mean u are correct too. Just am lazy to talk so much to u.

Well, peace still, I am not a soft hearted girl nor girl without own stand. I am stronger than u can imagine. So, don't mess up with me. Lol, I am not that kind seriously.

思。

好累。

要不受影响还真的有点难。

让我到世界的另一个角落看看好吗？
我想让思想无限宽大。
我不想在框框里。
也不想只懂得纸上谈兵。

嘿，飞翔是什么样的感觉？
嘿，你看见过另一个自己吗？
你到过别人的思想里吗？
嘿，你一定没有到过我的宇宙吧？

因为，你没有看见我的星空在发光发热。
因为， 你不懂得我的梦想。

无尽头的想象。没有边界的天空。

Followers

I don't understand why adults need to make every simple things complicated.

I thought society is meant for fun, skills development , togetherness and teamwork?

LOL, why we need to compete for power?
Why we need to judge everyone ?

Every adults has to turn into this?

Well, I guess I will be a weird adult then. LOL.

Another thought, be different is kinda hard to survive as everyone follow the trend so that they won't be reject outside the gang.
Is it so?

And why do I need to follow?

Pure.

Sometimes I wondered. What have I done? Or what's all the reasons?

Well, there's some kind of misunderstanding I would say as we judge before we understand each other.

Somehow I really doesn't want to care how to make bond btw each other stronger and all those stuff. Not keen in it.
Have tried to do it but i guess I stop doing it since last semester.

Hmm, is not giving up on friendship or what. Just sometimes u tried so hard to treat someone with all your heart but in the end that ppl just thinks that u are funny.

Well, every kind of relationship involves both parties I believe.

I am thinking whether my ignorance cause any harms or not. Somehow keep quiet and explain nth when there's misunderstanding or what.

That's not how I treat friends actually. I like to be honest , that's what friends are.
But honesty seemed doesn't being appreciate pretty much.

I don't feel the urge to have any pillow talk either. There are so many different kind of people in this society that u can't be naive anymore to trust everyone and throw ur inner feelings to anyone whenever u want to.

Why so complicated? I wondered.
I rather being dumb enough to observer nth than being sensitive to see things and know things that I don't want to.
Coz that will make u disappoint and upset. I still want to believe in the everyone is an angel theory.

Maybe change it to everyone is an angel deep inside their heart? Maybe they didn't show it out but they are still angel despite other things else.

Those angels.

I am happy to have a bunch of friends who never failed to make me laugh.
Even through text they can made me laughed like mad. LOL!

Thanks god, I got to know them in my life :)

And thanks god for letting me to meet so many wonderful people throughout my life journey. Super great to know awesome people ❤

她

就是会有那么一个人，总是把你当后备，把你平时的关怀无视。然后在没有人为他留下时，才对你好。
我很害怕我像这样的人。所以宁愿一个人，也不要在需要的时候才懂得寻找着别人。

似乎人缘好也不代表什么。因为我还是只听见她的好话却看不见她的真心。朋友不是这样当的。不只是奉承与随便的关心。

对你好不是理所当然，只是因为同情，因为不想当和你一样类型的人。

请用心，而不是只有文字。
一堆的文字，谁都会写，但你做到了吗？

时刻提醒，别犯和她一样的错。

Well, me

I used to keep quiet when I met someone who don't understand me but thinks that she or he do understand me well. Ngek ngek xD

Pyscoanalysis of characteristic doesn't apply on me. And observation of body language doesn't apply on me too. U can only use your heart to understand me if u want to.

And I don't correct misinterpretation or misunderstanding. Perhaps someday you will know if u aren't just a passer-by of my life :)

Exchange

So I went to this exchange program interview today.

Honestly, I tried so hard to apply for it last semester during my final exam. At last due to it might need me to extend my program I simply send my application without hoping being selected.

So I got this sudden call from international center telling me to go for interview and I was like huh? What interview?

So without any preparation, I went to this super far international center for my interview. LOL, god knows how HUGE is my Uni. I didn't know my Uni actually has south and north campus until today I saw the map of my Uni. zzzz why is my Uni so huge ? @.@

LOL, the interview session is quite relaxing actually. I feel like I am asking information more than being interviewed.
But then I guess I got very little chance to be selected. They asked me who's the chancellor for my Uni and who's the dean for my faculty. LOL, seriously??!!
I said I don't know. LOL! Then they said huh? U can't just know who's ur lecturer's name.
And I was whispering in my heart, I didn't even know who's my lecturer's name. XD
I don't rmb ppl's name when they are strange to me. which i know that's bad.

So mainly I asked more questions than they do and this is great experience for me. At least I will study everything about upm next time before I go for interview.


So, I still got my big dreams and yes, I want to be a better me.
Everyone I met, things I saw, situation that i encounters, are chances of learning for me.

Attitude and mindset still the everything for me:)

Life can be so much fun when u learn Sth new everyday!

：）

总相信单纯，善良的存在。
别因为看见社会的现实后便对人性的美好丧失信心。
真心的人还是有的。
别一味认定了每个人都是势利的，而用相同的方法处事。

总觉得，世界不该那么灰。
人性本善。
要改变，从自己开始。

Seriously, 发泄 doesn't mean talking it out for me, for now. Lol

Zzz.
Speechless.

Well, have had a conversation with friend day before. Talking about expressing.

Duh, expressing doesn't work for me.
I tried but I guess I will just keep it back to myself.
LOL, after all I still can handle by myself.

Insecure? Quarrel? Frightened or what?

:( I wish I can help but what happened?

In the middle of the night.
I am worry..

💚

What a tiring day :)

Get ill actually.. Feel exhausted and oh, I actually had a fever. LOL.

Went to acting class and have a great laugh. Although I am not familiar with the gang and I might be a quiet girl among them , I still feel happy and have so much fun v them :)

The challenge is I really couldn't act as a
Cute Lil kid.
This is hard to me. LOL. But I will try my best:)

Well, I looked like a first year student to most of the people. LOL. Good or bad?
Anyway, I am not good at socializing.
Haha, I tried to change that but it's kinda hard for me to be friendly suddenly coz that's not me. So I guess everyone has their own unique personality. And mine is like tht, being quiet at first and yes, I make friends with heart. I can have playmates but I couldn't have long chat and serious talk v them. Haha. So I don't have a dozen of so called best best friends but a few is more than enough for me :)


Feel thankful that I learnt something today. And yes, now is the time for me to revise what have I done right and wrong during the whole day.


I guess I look myself too important and gonna learn to be more humble. Plus do not ever judge anyone. :)

Gayao for a better day and better me

Smiley

Life is truly beautiful when you have positive thinkings.

And yea, found so many little things that made me smile :)

Yes, I am happy.

Thanks a lot for people who smiled to me, generous enough to give me compliment and courage, thanks to people who talked to me, teach me new things.

I am appreciating every single thing in my life. Well, life can be wonderful and it depends on the inner you. You got the choice.

:) well, a busy yet meaningful day I have.

Change your mind and you can change the world. This is true :)

昂贵

境随心转。

安静的力量不容忽视。沟通不见了，然后关系可想而知。最害怕如此的场面。的却宁愿一人承担所有。然后便不会有人议论纷纷，是谁对谁错。但，人的想法又何此简单。
所以沉默了。想要面面俱全的确困难。

我的立场来来去去只有人格。一件小事上也不能容许人格的一点败坏。因为心中明白，勿以为恶小而不为之。的确，很小很小的事情，是很少人会计较对与错，因为就算用错的方法解决也不会带来什么坏结果。

这，就是我不想自己犯下的错。 对，也许别人会觉得我把是太想得太严重，但这是我要做到的。人格，品格。我希望我能做到。

再下来，就真的万分感谢伸出援手的朋友。无论是行动还是言语上。谢谢。：）

:(

LOL never mind and fine.

So I wonder does it mean keeping quiet is equalize to being calm and considerate? LOL.

总会有那么几个人默默的为你担心，为你的悲伤而悲伤，为你的快乐而快乐，为你的烦恼而烦恼。

就算你离开了，他们也会不断挂念你，关心你。

他们是你的家人，是你的至亲。
永恒的，永远的。

不被珍惜的感觉很糟糕。

人总要在失去后才能懂得珍惜拥有。
又或者从来没有可惜失去，因为他／她根本不稀罕你们之间的情份。

相处从来都是两个人的事，一个人根本努力不了。

So called weirdo.

Zzz.

总是出乎意料，也许这，才是人生。

Can't believe I am writing blog during this hour. LOL

Have super long chat v close friend.
Just a few thoughts of my own.
Kinda feel myself good in saying only but failed in actions. LOL.

Really good at saying things big but for the real situation I always come out with something different.

I am scare of gossiping actually. I scare of situation like people love u in front but talk about u like shit behind.
That's why I love being with people who are straight forward. Because they don't hide. So have to remind myself no hating anyone and no talking bad of people.

People might wear mask I know. Still sad to death if I were able to find out. So I rather I am stupid enough to not know their actual expression behind.

So everyone is still angel. Lol.
Well, thanks for the friend who chat v me like hours. She is really a good friend.

I might be cold blooded for her, but I really glad to know her in my life. Really wish her xin fu and happy for her entire life. :)

Refuse to know and think everything which I don't want to understand. LOL.
I am sorry if I done anything wrong. Really too blur to realize..
Will try my best to be better.

Well still a happy day.

Woke too late, have no breakfast but gastric and then rush to settle Sth just because I lost one piece of paper. Learnt a lesson.

Done Sth stupid and nearly fell down for twice. Sat on the bus v super high speed driver LOL. Great roller coaster:)

And most importantly, I found out that being cheerful and grateful will turn all sad things into happy things eventually.

So ya, still smile and shine. Hello first day of school. It's kinda memorable :)

Short of time again ><
Procrastination !!!


Please, be serious and believe in own self!
Work hard towards dream!


Never give up and finger cross

CNY

It's cny!! Fireworks and ang Pao.

Well, kinda complicated feelings for this year LOL
Everyday not the same..
Am happy and grateful as I am lucky enough to have such a lovely family and warmest home on earth.appreciate everything I have


BUT, LOL! Seems like something is coming back, NOOO!

Won't allow anyway.
So control I guess.
So far so good , pray*

Something different for this year, I guess I have a bit confidence.
A Bit, at least I am trying to be a stronger tougher independent girl. XD
Having critical thinking on ppl's point of view, having own judgement on whatever so.

Yea, I have my own point of view.
And I gonna learn more.
Knowledge is power.
No I won't find any protection from anyone.
I give myself my own protection and security.

Yea,I accept any kind of critics and teasing so that I can be better so that I keep moving on.

Make my goal clearer, make my dream bigger.

Finish ss-ing

Shuang.

He is just a baby dog

Got attacked by this excited giant baby dog @.@

Why are u so huge! And ur excitement is killing me. LOL!

Anyway daddy said it bully me because I am a girl.
I was like, O.o seriously?


Well, I have to make him know that I am a boyish type girl? LOL! Bad dog! U gonna see the power of a GIRL.

Preparing all weapons for second attack. Nah, just kidding. I don't fight with dog
Hahaha

LIV

When thoughts injected deep inside you, it's hard to change.

See, the world is so big, just don't let thoughts to narrow your sight.

I wish my dream grow bigger day by day.
I wish I can be more hardworking.

All I want is to be better and better.
We can't live in our own world forever.
And things changed like what you told me.

I just want to do my own things, build my own dreams.
I wanted to glow and shine for myself I want improvement on myself.

You know thoughts can kill people. Seriously you don't know what I have been through last year. It looks like nth on me but it feels like shit for me.

I knew that best and I just don't want to go through that again.

I am making myself stronger and tougher and I like the name LIV more and more.

It means protective.

I just want to be someone who can cheer people up. I just want things to be simple like how I did last time.

I don't want to think too much on the same thing. Everything can be pure and simple when u choose to put it on that way.

It's ur choice believe me. It's all on ur own but not anyone else.

I wish I am doing the right things.

Faith? Fate?

Full stop.

To be strong, you need to do everything by your own. Lent every helping hand to the needy. Learn everything in every way.
There's nothing u can't do but only things which u think u can't do.

Rely? Nope. To be tough, you must be confident that u can do it without relying on anyone. U saw the perfect part of people's life, u feel envy. U feel jealous why their life can be so nice and perfect and you look at ur own. U feel like lacking of something.
Well, hey, u can live ur life beautifully.
You have something that people don't have. So spend less time on comparing but see and feel the beauty and lovely parts of your life.




There are often times you feel disappointed because of something or someone. Things don't turn out like what u expect or hope for. But hey, that's what we call twisty :) there's must be something good behind all these twists perhaps?


Maybe those sayings are right. People won't understand u until u tell them what's in you.
But why I have always believe that somehow there will be one who can understand meaning behind all my actions or words.
Didn't want to correct ppl's thoughts because I am waiting someone to tell me something that's exactly on my mind.
Doesn't want to say u don't understand me at all. But... That's just inaccurate. Not what I thinking. Just... Never mind.:)

Perhaps to find the one is impossible?
I guess single still rocks for now? :)

So much different now.

Only if u could open up.





Well, the wall aren't getting lower but it's building higher.


Only if u could understand my language.

A little bit closer

To become more mature
More and more.

50-60%?
Can be more. Can smile more :)

理性回来。

一字一句。

有人说当局者迷，旁观者清。
的确。
有时，把自己抽出，从第三者的角度看
你会发现自己还蛮笨，不断地往洞里去
哈。


世界那么大，又何有由始至终都没变过的人？
变，何尝困难？

把话当真，坚持不变的才是傻瓜吧！
笑一笑，一切都无所谓。

只是也许会把墙砌得更高。
不再认真地配合，迁就。
傻，也有一定的程度。

分辩还是有一定的能力。
大声和凶不一定代表对与正确。

要学会沉默，沉得住气。
伟大，谅解，体谅的定义，也许每个人不一样。但请明白，了解别人的苦心。
别践踏了真心。

时时刻刻提醒自己。
别像别人对你一样对别人。
不该有的态度，请别学会。
记住自己的原则。

Self.

Saw the status
And I know exactly how it feels
Coz ... I did the same thing before too..

Hey, be strong! It's not the end of the world. It's a test from God. So that we know how strong are we. I know the feeling when u know there won't be anyone else who will understand what situation are u in. But hey, I know it exactly. We somehow are kinda similar in some way. We don't talk the exact feeling when it is happening. We hide it. That's why I wouldn't ask u are u alright. I know u will tell me u are okay.

The only people who can help u is urself seriously.

Hey, smile :) at least we have the chance to go through all these. It is torturing mentally but this really make us stronger

Two days of staying alone in hostel actually did make me think. :)

Alone isn't a big deal for me. I guess relationship issues is a big deal for me. I rather stay alone and settle my own stuff by myself than wishing there will be someone else appear for me. LOL.

Even when u feel really insecure during some situation, it's just useless to tell people that u are scare. Because there won't be anyone who are so free to come protect u. Wake up and protect urself . Tell urself u aren't scare at all. Expressing isn't a solution. Learn to defend and be alert. That's all u need :)

And also. Be cheerful be grateful!
Happy do bring luck :)


So yea, drenched in family's love
Am bless

Thanks god and smile :D

T.T

Never mind I won't give up.

But what to do now?

Have a tour in upm?

Crap

One more to gooo :D

Well, I guess every human being is the same.. Like new stuff and forgot old stuff they have.. It doesn't just apply on stuff but other human being as well..

So at last u will find out the one who never leaves you till the end is ur family ❤

I seldom trust on forever when I grow older. I do love fairy tales with live happily ever after endings but when it comes to real life, u might say i am way too negative but yea, I just don't believe forever and ever.

So I guess Phrases like i will love u forever, we will be together forever and so on dont really convince me. Well, I do believe this last time when people say so. But now? Nope.

Forever? Well, lets see. XD



Main point of this post? Am just crapping due to boredom of studying :)
LOL.

:D

2013 1010

我会记住今天的笑容。

要快乐，不难。

感谢万分，即使可能会失败，至少我明白我曾经努力过。

More to come**


Finger crossed :)

Dream dream dream ❤❤❤


They motivated me!!!


Keep moving on!!!! Roar!!!

Chapter

Well Eq need to be upgrade.
Got my own sets of principles. Well mine might not fit urs so all the best is what I can say.

Lalala~ I know myself most. :)

Hi door , lock more:)

And hi dream, don't wanna give up!


* even failure might happens but it's alright. At least I tried right? :)
Must be prepared to smile even failure strikes!

Gaaaaa! Move on!

Reality

Alright, finish comforting myself.

Back to the reality, goodness gastric, why are u sticking to me for so long..

Well, pain like a boss and I can't focus.
Duh. Keep calm and go on!

Well am eating the same dish everyday for many days already LOL.
If I get chili poisonous , u will know why.
And... Life still good anyway.

God still loves me I know.. :))

Praying hard again:)) keep going and keep going !!

Rocks !

。

还是自己来比较靠谱。

梦想，可以再靠近我一点吗？

2013,自己的事自己解决。把依赖收起来，独立才是我的主题曲。

Rawr!! 发挥疯癫精神！

❤

要节奏不被打乱，就要持续地坚持下去。

要看得见彩虹，就要忍受狂风暴雨。

不必拿自己的严冻和别人的盛夏相比，如果这样只会更寒冷。
不眼红，不攀比。

Again

Keeping quiet when blaming about this place arise again.

Am trying very hard to keep my own pace walk my own path and have my own thinking..

Well I guess I manage to do it, at least 60% I will say. Leaving is again pop out on my mind.. Alright, am not going to let myself to respond like last year.

Those struggles will be remain inside..
:) smile more and get less influence..

Am not going to be influenced by negative thoughts and blamings so easily..
Keep going on:) am unbeatable !

Going to live out my life.
To make a change, I need to keep my own pace.. Be tough and stand strong..

Well nothing is impossible.
Am doing good.. So please don't be influenced that easily !! ><


Hello happiness and positive, stick to me more :)

态度

想要明白玫瑰为何浓郁鲜艳，就先让玫瑰的刺刺痛。

小鸟又何尝明白蝴蝶的飞行？
白兔又如何了解马只的奔跑？

话又何必多？

要知道太多了 ，会变成一种约束。

要紧记，你觉得好的，别人不一定与你有一样的感受。

冷漠有时也许是一种沟通。
毕竟世上无绝对。

Well, one step at a time

God bless me