日。二 。

一个星期。

在这里， 我每一天都得走好几个小时。每一天都有不同的活动，每一天都早出晚归。
充实的不得了。

今天原本想乖乖的待在家，但还是被日本朋友邀出去了。拒绝了两次，真的不好意思再拒绝第三次。大家都好好玩哦，很感激很感恩可以遇到那么棒的一群人 ＝D
今晚的确很开心。


好了 ，不太会描述发生的一切，所以还是写感受好了。
世界真的好大，而我真的一直都活在自己的世界里。
班上一位从泰国来的学生， 他好讨厌自己的国家。他的思想好负面。
今天他说， 他不会相信任何人，除了他的家人。我问他，总有一个朋友是值得你相信的吧。他说，没有。 我在想，没有信任的友情是什么样子。没有了信任，剩下的是什么？
我想他背后一定有他的故事。


班上一位来自新加坡的学生，他好有学问，懂得好多。我在想，他都如何拥有这些常识呢？ 是兴趣吗？我对历史没有兴趣。是我太急性？还是我太懒惰？
教授的课越来越深了。它牵涉了好大的范围。是我从来不会去想的问题， 从来都没有接触的知识。文化的力量又岂能被看小？他的影响力超越想象。


好了，太多的想法暂时无法全部写下因为我累了。
oyasumi.

日。

在日本的第六天。

遇到了好多不同的人，自己也很快地随着大家的culture而改变。
但唯一不变的是 ，我还是满难聊的吧。 话题终结者非我莫属啊。
不断努力想话题变成我每天必须做的事了，虽然很乐意， 但，很不好意思，我真的习惯性的不发问，喜欢静静的观察。猜测。
还是迷迷糊糊的。 就不停地闯，说不上勇敢，但就是没有害怕 。
好喜欢这里的感觉， 大家好有规矩。尤其是准时的习惯。我喜欢准时的习惯，这样就能更准确的计划好每一样事情。

在这里上课，我都不会打瞌睡，是完完全全的觉得一个小时半过得太快。
真的第一次听课不看时间，完全专心地消化教授的话。
果然是对科学以外的事感兴趣！

对了，值得一提的是，在这里我好欣赏一位女生的艺术细胞，她不但长得漂亮，他拍的照片真的好有艺术感！！ 看来我得加把劲！学习更多有趣的事 ＝）

另。

人总是现实。不起眼的沙永远不被看见。当沙变珍珠却变了稀奇物。

所以，又怎能批判努力把自己变得更出色的人呢？又怎能鄙视努力发光的女人？想不一样，想漂亮地像天上的星星是本能也是人们现实主义的结果。

如果你不屑美丽的事物，那你可以尽情的批评。但如果你也会不小心的先看外表在看内涵，请在下定论前三思。

心中有佛看谁都是佛。

这，是要警惕自己别带有色眼镜。

缘

缘，这个字，总是那么奇妙。

这七个屋友，相处了两年。说长不长，说短不短。

该怎么形容这份情。我想思念也许会吧。毕竟两年内的情已滋长。

我们都有着不同的个性，我应该会用成熟去形容这一家吧。我想无时无刻疯癫的就只有我吧。我很喜欢她们疯癫的时候。 但，大部分的时间大家都很冷静。结果，我在这的确学会好多自律。

这个家，不像隔壁家吵吵闹闹。我喜欢热闹但，这样也不错。

也喜欢大家的体谅，有时会很有默契的照顾对方但又不说出口。心里的感激就这样久久地荡着。

这个家像柴米油盐，像是不起眼但又不能少。

也许会分离，也许会怀念，但随缘吧。

冥冥中只有安排。

不是每个文字都需要明确的逻辑。

不是每件事情都有合理的解释。

不是每一个思想都拥有一定的理由。

有时就是那么的让摸不着头脑，那么让人想不通。自由发挥不是为了让人明白、欣赏而存在。就像花开花谢根本没有要人们为它们开心叹息。

有时能够无法解释的，需要的事接受。不是开始怀疑没有理由背后是否有谎话。

还是沉默吧。

想流浪。

Third paper Tmr. Still a long way to go.

Have a medium long chat v roomie. 

Talked about career, academics and future. Heavy topics at this hour I know. 

Well, at some point I am confuse. Confuse about my path and my future. I know I didn't want to choose nutritionist as my career. But I didn't think do my plan works.. I am afraid of hearing phrases like wasting four years for nothing. 

We have our own problems. Struggles and lost. It's all about capability and ability. Academic is not about memorizing and scoring. Without practical and understanding, it's just nothing. 

Too urge to think of future? 

Second may be still considered as junior but it's going to third year and soon graduate. 

I don't know whether will I change my mind right now or will I regret of what I choose. But somehow, I am not a science people. Although I find it easier to study biology as all u need is understand it and memorize. It won't change. 

Unlike economics or IT, they are more challenging and interesting. 

Like what my roomie said, there's a reason why u are being put into this situation or position. There is always a reason for things to happen. Maybe I was blind from all those unknown. Maybe I should believe and keep going on. 

But for times, I still doubt, at the system, at the education. Am I really learning something? Am I able to apply things I have learned despite memorizing blindly for exams? 

And, LOL, I lack of motivation for exams seriously. And, I long for graduation.lol. Pathetic. I doesn't love upm still.

Anyway. Keep going and excel. What else? :)

要逼自己幻想考试的美好。

果然不能安安静静地坐着。

常常会经历莫名奇妙消失的友情。

长越大，就越懒得重新述说自己的一切。

花开花谢，永远不会懂得未来会发生什么事。逝去的也许能够重新拥有。

叹息。也会害怕自己把事情看得太表面。装傻应该是一种逃避。这也是为什么我喜欢和小孩呆着，因为单纯，因为直接。

虽说爱心理学爱读心术，但懂得太多也未尝是件好事。

细腻是女人与生俱来的天赋，不管多粗枝大叶的女生都能比男生细微。

只是我想有时候只是嘴上不说，心里懂得就好。

Silence.

Keep silence at last. 

Was going to ask do you know why am I telling you everything even if I knew what reaction you gonna give me?

But, forget about it. 

Just... Wondering.. The world doesn't work like how I imagine it to be.. U have to trust and have faith and forcing everything to be like what you want. You think grass is the best for the horse but it is not a must. Grass may not be the best damn thing.. There is so many possibilities out there u just can't treat it as only one outcome for every stuff.

Believe is the thing u never did. What can I say? 

Seriously, silence. 

Too much problems keep popping out. Sigh~ 

Well, have to overcome. What else? 

Couldn't concentrate in study so I flipped through my high school memories.

So I read those words that my friends left on my book..kinda weird as I realized there's a different between the me NOW and the me LAST TIME. Couldn't remember I used to be friendly and cheerful based on how people described me. I guess this kind of description is not appropriate for me now perhaps? 

And I didn't know I used to talk a lot of nonsense and cold jokes and there are so many friends that I don't really remember how we know each other but it seems like we knew each other because I talked lame things and made them laugh. LOL, I used to be a crazy insane naive girl and now what have I turn into?

Well, I still blur and I did a lot of stupid things. I guess this is in the gene and couldn't be change anyway. Hah. But talking nonsense is lesser already. I guess? And I have been lazy to build up new close friendship with people. Just didn't take initiative to introduce myself and get to know the others. I remember last time I love to find out almost every friends' interests, like and dislike, characteristics, their stories and so on. Well, now, am reluctant to ask. Or I often feel awkward when with people I don't really know. I don't have much topic to talk and most importantly I always ended the topic. Which means I stop after I answered a question. Alright, I know I have this problem but I forgot to ask questions u know. LOL. There was once my friend asked me some question trying to chat v me. So I answered and then.....

After few minutes I remembered I should ask back some question so that the topic goes on. LOL, and guess what, she said, luckily u asked me question. U know I was gonna ask u why didn't u ask me question just now. LOL! Alright, not purposely but just... Am like that anyway. 

Well high school and form six are the best memories I have through out my long study life. Especially form six. Seriously, I really never thought it could be so fun. I will laugh at least twice for one day. LOL. U can imagine how funny my friends were. I bet I will miss my Uni life too when I work next time. As I didn't know I will miss form six like that when I was in form six. So I guess I will miss Uni life too? 

Although am still not very attached to Uni gang but we did have great memories together :) well, I hope something big encounter us, u know problems are chances that bond all of us together. Unless people are not willing to be together to settle problems and support each other. I long for a real bonding between us. Maybe it's hard but it's not impossible right. 

23 people and 23 different characteristics. Two more years to go :) 

Be positive and go on!!! UPM sucks but I still gonna rock it anyway :)