I will still be your passenger in life.

I am sorry, I have planned it that way. 

The walls, they are there. I couldn't break it myself. Neither do you.

You have been awesome, lovely, adorable but I am still standing in the shadow watching the party goes on and on.

Watching this bunch of people dancing over and over.

I am sorry I did not step in I did not join when you reach out to me. I am glad you tried. 

But, that's it. I guess I am just scared of another heart breaking moment that might happened next second.

I guess I am fine with being hard, being mysterious, being weird, being quiet or whatever relevant adjective you can think of.

For now.

I am waiting and I am counting down.

柠檬草的味道

给昨天的我一个拥抱，曾经她不知如何是好。

若我们再见我终于会微笑，谢谢你，谢谢你，我尝过爱的好。

用了一年半。终于。

还不是哈啦的料。

没有要聊得深，或有意义就完全不感兴趣。

好吧，我真的很努力微笑应酬。

我会再试着，若真的无法那么自然的谈笑风生，我想那就是原本的我。

哈，好吧，我是个闷骚。

*对朋友的珍重，太重，会受伤。

亲爱的，我若累了，若冷了，若安静了，希望你能发现，哪怕只有一秒。或许只是我的妄想曲。

已经很棒了。

微笑，正常。

武装的很好。功夫再高些，就能手舞足蹈、毫无破绽。

已经，尽力了。

还需要做的，就是等待和强行忘记。

最远的距离应该是，就算坐在一起用餐也感觉像是一个人在吃。

默默揣摩着，到底爱上陌生人是什么样的一个心态？

捣蛋鬼问：三天。只有三天，就能爱得那么深？

也许以前的自己会冷笑说：韩剧吗？

现在，竟脱口坚定地说：会。

他愣了一秒，说：哦，这样啊。

我默默地沉思了一下。是的，会。至少，我相信。

三天。三天，你懂了什么？

陌生人。陌生人，你了解什么？

选择第三种方式是如何？

我以为是离开。原来是守护。

是如何如此不求回报，如此安静的守护。

人类，不都一个样？只要自认为伟大，付出，就一定要让对方知道。却从没想过，对方要的，真是如此？没想过，你的好，你的伟大，根本是种负担、压力，因为这样的付出，就会让对方愧欠。对方如果拒绝，还要让你大骂不知好歹，不懂珍惜。这样，这的幸福了吗？

第三种方式是安静的，是沉默的。没有什么，只在远方观望。

第三种方式，不存在。

也是为什么，离开成为了动力，目标。

也许是矛盾。

也或许是任性，是倔强。

草地是蓝色，天空是绿色，花朵是黑色。

你附和着，我却又不满意。

可能，刺猬当久了，就忘了什么该防什么不该。。。

偷偷望出门缝，期待着些什么。

第一道阳光洒下当儿，却用尽力气把门关上。

Escape! Run! 

Nah, it's a surviving plan. 

Duh, time the biggest factor.

I am waiting I am waiting ! 

Few more months to go, few more months! 

承诺到永远，说得多伟大。

时间它把残忍的画面一一呈现。

滴嗒、滴嗒、滴嗒。

在倒数中度过。一一斩除，唯一好奇你会不会哭丧脸庞，问为什么？而你不知道的事又如此的多。

眼泪它在心中淌得像血。微笑它穿上戏衣。

滴嗒、滴嗒、滴嗒。

在等，在待。

走了。为了忘，为了逃。

微笑都假了，灵魂像飘浮着。

So who's gonna take care of my emotions.

Deep inside everyone, there's a Harley Quinn. 

A crazy abnormal pyscho bitch.

And one by one, you came and tell me, I will always be here, I am by side.

Deep down, I hope you understand that you should stop bull shitting. No you aren't gonna be here, coz you don't even know when's I am sad mad or happy. 

I think I am gonna call you up? No. I ain't no talking demanding machine who calls up whenever I want. 

So please, stop telling me those stupid stuffs because I am not 14 anymore.

I am simple because I chose that way, that's still doesn't stop me to be complicated. I just have no time for games. 

So go back to your life, stop telling me fairy tales and stop telling me you will always stand by my side. Because, you know nth of my shit and you know exactly nth of me. Because there a high wall blocking us, not us, is me and the humans out there. 

So don't make me unleash Harley 

Okay. Great. Again. 

Encountered the same situation as last time. I guess I haven't get through yet.

God said I messed up last time so I need to make it right this time. No evading allowed.

Oh, great. I should have my poker face or resting bitch face back. Don't be that friendly. 

Zz.