挫折感。 为什么我那么笨？ :(

1.10am

对啦，又迟睡。

回来怡保这一趟，又让我上了人生的几堂课。感恩小事、大事带来的启示。

天使与魔鬼往往只在一念之间。没有一个人永远是天使。也没有一个人永远是恶魔。所以，当觉得别人是恶魔的时候，先想想自己，是不是也是恶魔？

在利益关头，你才会看见谁是真心朋友。但也别太严苛，想想他们平时的好。也想想自己又真的很好吗？很无私慷慨大方吗？没有。所以停止埋怨，停止不满。

虽然无条件的善良会很累，尤其是没人珍惜，没人感恩。而你却不断地吃亏，有时可能还会被责怪，但还是要努力善良。因为这样才是我喜欢的自己。

感谢愿意聆听的朋友家人。我可以很长气、唠叨。也感恩拥有讲义气，总是疼我，总是愿意帮我的朋友。你知道你是谁吧。谢谢，当我觉得友谊不过如此时，掏心掏肺不过如此时，从会想起，至少还是有真心的朋友。口中不提，但真的很感谢。只是不好意思表达。

：） 谢谢啦，那一些我很珍惜的朋友。

Define procrastination. 

I am doing it right now.

So yesterday I told my friend, u can't be success if u never taste failure.

And today, failure approach me.

And yes, disappointment :/

Real hard to have motivation again.

When you have so many things inside ur mind. 

What's next ? Reluctant to move yet I know I have to work hard for my dreams for what I want in my life.

But, I am like the old engine which hasn't been generated for ages. And it's not functioning. :/ 

My ambition? 

I just want to be a happy person.

Is turning myself as someone who are great in memorizing notes will guarantee me to be awesome and successful in future? I doubt.

Why we need to see grades and cgpa so important? And most importantly, why I seems like following the trend? Studying just to answer exam questions. 

What about other skills? If the society or company doesn't judge people with their cgpa anymore what am I? 

Am I outstanding enough to be hire? Do I know other knowledge beside nutrition? 

Did I enjoy what I am learning? Does learning have to be only one way? 

And to become successful, there are a thousand ways. Why are we believing so much in academic result do bring successfulness in future? 

And why I have no right to choose elective subjects that I like? Why nutrition students have to study nutrition only? 

And why nobody dare to voice out doubts?? Why must I follow the rules that I don't even understand the purpose of the rule? So this foodnatic club automatic considered all nutrition students as member. then they asked us to pay rm5 for member fees. Well, rm 5 is not the problem. But the problem is what have this club done? There are no activities and what are the functions of beig a member? I mean what do I pay for? So ppl are paying the fees because they are asked to. Well, I doubt and that makes me look stingy and like a rebellious girl who doesn't want to pay for her own food.i mean why are people complaining at the back and doesn't want to voice it out. 

And why is everybody so scare? And I asked. Is that wrong? @.@ I wondered. 

Anyway, craps a lot and duh, this university is really indescribable. LOL.

我想每个人都是自私的吧。对自己利益有冲突的时候，你就能看见一切。

不能否认，的确会感到失望，原来友谊不过如此。

在慢慢长大的过程中，所谓的单纯，所谓的付出，也只不过是文字。会慢慢懂得，真心不是每个人都懂得欣赏，也不是每个人都看得见。也许那个嘴贱、总是一副无所谓的样子，总是想不顾你生死的人，才是对你最真心的。也许你以为的真心，其是一种互利互惠的关系。

对人好但却又不计回报真的好难。并不是期许现实的回报，只是当在某些状况之下，看见为了自身利益而不管你生死的人后，真的心灰了。

学会把那份失望藏起来。但防备意识好像又增加了。以前，我很喜欢pillow talk.但现在的自己，只愿意聆听。倾诉对我来说是遥不可及的事。

多看看人们美好的部分，假装忘记为了利益不顾一切的模样，也许那模样是在提醒我别为了利益不顾一切。

今天才如梦初醒。要坚持善良还真不容易。

我想每个人都是自私的吧。对自己利益有冲突的时候，你就能看见一切。

不能否认，的确会感到失望，原来友谊不过如此。

在慢慢长大的过程中，所谓的单纯，所谓的付出，也只不过是文字。会慢慢懂得，真心不是每个人都懂得欣赏，也不是每个人都看得见。也许那个嘴贱、总是一副无所谓的样子，总是想不顾你生死的人，才是对你最真心的。也许你以为的真心，其是一种互利互惠的关系。

对人好但却又不计回报真的好难。并不是期许现实的回报，只是当在某些状况之下，看见为了自身利益而不管你生死的人后，真的心灰了。

学会把那份失望藏起来。但防备意识好像又增加了。以前，我很喜欢pillow talk.但现在的自己，只愿意聆听。倾诉对我来说是遥不可及的事。

多看看人们美好的部分，假装忘记为了利益不顾一切的模样，也许那模样是在提醒我别为了利益不顾一切。

今天才如梦初醒。要坚持善良还真不容易。

Legend.

Har... Exams are over. Well, finally. Although my final is in two weeks time. Geek. Had a great Friday, I have to mentioned. Great food, great chat, great shoppings. 

Didn't really sleep well for this semester and I don't know why. Bed problem? Nope. Stress? Nope. Just don't know. I remember what I have dreamt of and it makes me feel tired. Hmm..

Another thing to mention. Listened to inspired speech recently :) yea, I need more inspirations to guide me. Well, it was from honorable member of golden key,Christopher. Strongly agree with what he said. CGPA isn't everything seriously. I guess I mentioned about result is nt that important for several times. What makes u different among all students? What can u do to make urself outstanding? I am as well thinking what makes me different.

4.0 cgpa is easily found everywhere.

But creative ideas and attitude are unique in everyone. It's just so much things to be learnt yet I got so little time to explore more. I wish I could do more. Excel more on things that I love. 

I am not very smart honestly. I knew that well. But, yes, I believe I have something different. It's just the matter that I have confidence to show it out or not.

My to-do list is still a long way to go and it's been updating everyday :)

Let's get started by having the first step ~

Life is great!!

P/S: BE A LEGEND! 

对不起，乌龟还是应该待在壳里。

伤害自己总比伤害别人好。

也许没有了接触, 就不会有伤心。 

也许把自己收起来就能皆大欢喜。

打了场篮球。我喜欢流汗的感觉。
原来打篮球也可以领悟一些事。
我看见自己的弱点，看见自己不认输的样子，看见硬硬来的自己。

整颗球击中的当儿，我尝到血的味道。
然后我看见自己的软弱。我也有软弱的一面，原来。只是我把它吞下，硬要笑硬要一副无所谓的样子。
其实没有勇气喊痛，没有勇气流泪，才是懦弱的人吧。

但不假装又怎能变得更强悍。好像是理所当然，反正也不会有人猜那笑容，玩闹的背后是什么。是那么的没自信。曾经告诉别人，有那么一种人看似很自信，但他不过在掩饰自卑的一面。因为需要的不过是鼓励但却又无法让人懂得这样的想法。

总是轻而易举地鼓励别人，但就是无法鼓励自己。总是不断否认别人的赞赏，因为总觉得那只不过是客套话。 我在想，总得把自卑戒掉吧。总得靠自己。

加油了。还是还自己一个微笑吧：）

落幕了。
很感恩，我以为在这个大学不会找到办活动的那份归属感，那份执著，那份热忱了。
还曾经后悔为何在第一年时没有不顾一切地参与浪潮，错过了更多学习，快乐的机会。
但很开心，这个学期、无论多远，多忙都坚持出席每一个例常和练习。认识了那么多可爱的浪人，体会那么多感动。

我没有一百分但我真的会很努力。努力学习演出，因为我喜欢演戏。我喜欢疯疯癫癫，喜欢从不同角色体会不同的人生观。

只是我发现，我真的不太会表达。习惯性的把很多意见和感受藏起来。把很多情绪硬硬吞下。也许习惯了慢慢就会变得像没有情绪的人一样。

Slept late for few nights, no, is few months.. I guess LOL!

Well, my goal of sleeping early is ruined by tons of activities, assignments, reports and of coz exams..

Believed that I am able to play hard, study hard and rock my Uni. :)
So here I am, doing things I like And keep learning new and inspired things!

Ya, Upm sucks, the systems sucks, bus sucks, food sucks, government sucks, election sucks and exams sucks LOL
But oh yeah, my life still beautiful because of awesome people, creative ideas, and the togetherness we had.
Well, unite, people. Unite not just to fight evil but unite as one as we are the same:)

Still believe in fate, God and everything else after all. Life is still wonderful and think of what u have once u are free.
Keep those blaming aside and look, the greatness of Mother Nature, the lovely family and whatever you are having. Gratitude. :)

And yes, gonna rock!!
Next plan, to take risk :)

怪、孤。

似乎变得不耐烦，而且温柔这形容词词离我好远。
不是要变得很温柔，只是心不够细腻。
因为没有想得太多，简单来说，没为他人着想。

还是怪人一名，对不起了，如果让你觉得我毫不在意，总是冷漠。我只是少一根筋。