Back to my long-lost blog. I have forgotten the name of my blog.
I am back as I accidentally peeked on someone else's life today.
A friend of mine or I won't say friend, but acquaintance I guess, whom I have heard of him since high school due to his outstanding outer look. But we got connected via an event from my previous company. Barely talked, just a few chats on social media. You know me with chats online, I am bad at replying.
Just gonna write the whole story here since I reckon there won't be anyone reading this space anymore. LOL.
Saw his IG story and seems that his GF has just passed away a month ago. He claimed that it is an accident but there is this other guy who said that it is not. She took her own life and the BF has the biggest responsibility on it since they are staying under the same roof with this girl's family staying abroad.
So, me being a stalker intrigued by stories. I did a little bit of dig on the internet. Everyone leaves a footprint digitally and I often look back at what footprint did I left and what people gonna see about me when they try to look me up on the internet.
I found out that a month ago, there's news about a girl who committed suicide in her car with burning charcoal. Everything matched the age, where she comes from, staying with boyfriend but not the family part. So I am not quite sure is it the same news.
But as I dug deeper, I found out that the BF claimed she has depressions and has been sad for months with her business and life. She felt tired.
And then I saw her blog. She seems like a girl with a lot on her mind. Some writings remind me of myself when I was younger.
I guessed when you get older, you then to choose fight or flee most of the time. I have been there, depressed. It is so deep, so drown that you want to pull yourself up but you couldn't. Depression is always a topic that you only understand how it feels when you been through it.
And it won't go away completely. You just have to manage it from time to time. Even if you are in a state where you are surrounded by your loved one, it doesn't guarantee that you won't get depressed.
It just strikes you, like that. I still remember hating myself, drowning in sadness, and couldn't help with it. You just cry and feel sad for nothing. Lifeless, wanting to end everything but at the same time feeling guilty as f.
You ask yourself why are you being like that. Why can't you be happy as other people did? Why are you not feeling satisfied since you have most of the things people don't have. Guys, there are no answers to it and you need to stop judging when your friend or anyone tells you this one day.
Just be there.
I am the lucky one. I met an angel. Actually, I met angels. A lot of lovely people. But this particular angle is so good at accompanying and listening to all nonsense that I have. Whenever I told this angel I am having nonsense in my head again, this angel told me to stop labeling them as nonsense and this angle treats every sadness of mine seriously.
I wanted to be pulled out from the black hole and I did.
I am glad.
It took me time. And I believe it is hard for everyone who is in there. Won't have much talk about how to treat someone who has depression or what is depression.
I guess the most important thing is to have good perspectives and mindset.
Dear you, shake off all the shits and believe in YOU. Love YOU, yourself.
Shake it off.
