Back to here. Sketch of thoughts.


There's handful of things happening these few months. Changes. Struggles.

The reality bites.

I am not saint. I am just human.

It's been years since I really do what I want to do. I am a coward most of the time, wishing to please everyone and to make people love me.

I learnt a hard way. To come to realise that that's not possible. To please the whole world.
I choose according to what people likes and wants.

And, now, I chose what I want.
I understand those people who try to comment are those who love and care about me. They dont want me to experience the pain, the suffers.

But hey, life is not just a colorful candy. It's not only sweetness that suppose to exist the whole time. But also the bitterness which make it balance and beautiful.

I always believe in God. God put me through this for a reason. There must be something that I need to learn and feel. That's what I believe in.

I met people. Different people in my life. I dont live for only one person. The fact is I have few of the precious ones who I treasure a lot.

I am sorry if I ever upset you for living my life. I am sorry I cant make you accept for who I am.

But no, I am not leaving your life. You can leave as you want. But just dont tell me to do so.

Yes, I thought of leaving to evade from pleasing everyone, meeting their expectations. I just want to do whatever makes me happy. And if that's a sin, then it will be.



A messy thought.