It feels good when there's someone pay attention only to you. It's like their world surrounds you. And every single things of your means the whole world to them.

It feels great. But, that's a sweet trap right there. Just one that I wouldn't want to get into.

I told myself, I will resist. As much as it's So tempting to have the love of someone. You know you can't do that. To hurt and leave. 

So, I rather be hurt. Be hated. Be less adorable. Than shining through giving hope that I can never realize.

You see, love is not that simple. It's never simple. I have been running away from it and when I did, I started chasing it again.

I love the idea of loving someone and pampering someone making her/him your only one. That's really nice feeling to have 

But I am more afraid of the feelings dropping from the sky when the person finally tired of everything and started to pay lesser attention. 

So I choose not to even start everything to avoid the fall. I am not an adventure.

Not risking the heart broken moments that gonna haunt for sometimes. 

I am afraid. I rather be alone. That pessimistic.

That contradicting. 

It's okay. I first started alone and I shall be leaving alone too. 

As much as I want a company, I still reject it so hard that I somehow wish there will be someone pushing in an opposite direction breaking all the walls and shields I have all these times. 

That contradicting.